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Rogue Janson
19 July 2004, 01:40 PM
This is something I wrote ages ago, based on the very first RPG test game we ever played. Just thought I'd see what people thought of it.

In the midst of a Sith attack, two cadets have been sent to clear a hangar bay of unidentified intruders. They succeeded, but at what price...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The Cadet picked his way wearily through the passageways of the shattered space station. His ill-fitting uniform caught on his gaunt, angular frame highlighting his awkward elbows and knees. His light brown hair was slicked down with sweat. A blaster hung limply at his waist. The cadet's dull his eyes trailed vacantly over the scenes before him. Emergency lighting turned the station's corridors an evil black, with carmine highlights. Deck plates had been torn up and gouges torn from the walls, exposing circuitry that sparked cerulean blue in the darkness. Jagged strips of torn metal curved from the sides and ceiling of the corridor like knives threatening to continue the slaughter. Broken pipes hissed and gushed choking steam and gases out clouding the cadet's vision and making him retch as he pushed on through.

At a junction, a medical team worked to sort the dead and dying. Several lay already with white sheets covering them, standing out like ghosts against the black. Many more lay still on the deck with terrible injuries, the stumps of limbs pink and cauterised, chests raw and burnt away by blaster fire or flesh gouged and open by some brutal weapon. The glint of polished metal snatched the cadet's attention and he turned his head to see a vicious hooked weapon, its barb still wet with fresh blood. Its owner leered up with a mocking rictus face, his skin drawn taut over his jaw and the cadet quickly drew his eyes away and focused ahead, passing the medics and their maudlin task.

Further down, the way was lit by the orange glow from burning computer panels. An acrid smoke drifted through the passage and the occasional burst of light as a volatile component caught burst from panels on either side. At the end of the corridor, huddled in the corner sat a soldier, a trail of blood slowly leaking away from her. She whimpered softly and shook, clasping her hands over the back of her neck and keeping her head down towards the floor. The cadet walked on, reaching a door at the end. This opened and he entered the room behind.

The Commander's office was terrifying for its precision, after the chaos of the invasion. Somehow it had escaped the devastation, though through the huge window at the rear could be seen the wreckage of dozens of cruisers drifting out in space, their hulks illuminated by the deep red of internal fires. In front of this vista, the commander stood behind a solid desk, his hands clasped tightly behind his back. The sharp lines of his uniform cut across the rounded frame of the window as he faced the cadet, who stood clenched in an attempt at attention before him.

"Cadet." The commander's voice carried the solemnity of responsibility and of rank. "Good job in there. We could have lost that bay if it wasn't for you."

A slight shiver held the cadet as he met the commander's steeled gaze.

"We just need to clear things up though. What happened to Chivers?"

Silently, the cadet stood like an ice sculpture, as if he were facing a freezing blizzard on Hoth.

"The medics .... The medics say he was shot in the back."

The cadet's breathing came ragged as he struggled to keep under control.

"People are going to ask."

Before the commander's steady glare, the cadet took in a shallow breath, drawing himself in tight. A strangled gasp emerged from his clenched throat.

"Mynocks"

The commander pivoting slowly on one foot, turning to face the window. His head dipped slowly and came up again, his eyes trailing the remains of a cruiser as the orange flare of an explosion burst lazily from it, scattering debris and the tiny specks of bodies. His voice was deep with the understanding of his years and the loss they had all suffered.

"Yeah son. Mynocks."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Can't help the feeling I overdid the unpleasant detail a bit. It still makes me laugh, but maybe that's just because I know what happened. :D

el presidente
19 July 2004, 03:46 PM
Well I'll start the ball rolling. I really liked it. I felt like I was walking down the corridor with the cadet. The description and detail was excellent. As for too much unpleasant, there is no such thing after a grusome and costly battle. I just wish I could write interesting fiction. Great work.

Darklighter
20 July 2004, 09:10 AM
Very good, Rogue Janson. I enjoyed it. :)

But I have to ask the question: what is the Chivers thing all about?

Rogue Janson
21 July 2004, 10:39 AM
Well I suppose I'd better explain, because it's pretty random...

The encounter we played was simple, two characters (played by my friends Ed and Chivers) versus two mynocks, which had snuck into the hangar bay. Little did we realise that mynocks with vitality are harder to take out than stormtroopers.
The two cadets managed to take out one mynock, but the other ended up locked in hand-to-hand combat with Chivers' character. Taking careful aim and heedless of the -4 penalty, Ed fired ... and hit Chivers rather than the mynock and killed him.

When we asked him about this all he could say was "mynocks!" which got the understanding response "yeah son, mynocks."

Darklighter
21 July 2004, 11:03 AM
LOL. Very good, Rogue Janson, very good. :)

Pirateking89
10 August 2004, 05:36 AM
Aesome story, excellent detail. I love it when character's accidentaly hit there own team. It always makes for interesting plot twists later on in the campaign.

lyk'qrez'xren
17 August 2004, 02:09 PM
The Commander's office was terrifying for its precision, after the chaos of the invasion. Somehow it had escaped the devastation, though through the huge window at the rear could be seen the wreckage of dozens of cruisers drifting out in space, their hulks illuminated by the deep red of internal fires.
so... this happened during an invasion? or were there mynocks in every ship?
how the hell did 2 mynocks cause such devastation on a ships crew?
good story. besides those 2 points. i liked it... a bit brief tho.

Snowtiger
18 August 2004, 03:59 AM
Originally posted by lyk'qrez'xren

so... this happened during an invasion? or were there mynocks in every ship?
how the hell did 2 mynocks cause such devastation on a ships crew?
good story. besides those 2 points. i liked it... a bit brief tho.

It's pretty obvious from the story that this was a minor encounter during an invasion, and that there were both actual hostiles(the Sith) and mynocks aboard during the stages prior to what was written. I'm not sure two mynocks could even cause as much casualties as we see in this story.