View Full Version : VERY DISHEARTENING SPOILERS! Click at your own risk...

26 August 2004, 12:02 PM
TheForce.Net, in an attempt to kill Hisham with a heart attack, wrote:

A word of warning: We post this because we believe in posting everything that comes our way that seems even *slightly* possible of appearing in ROTS. Therefore, we post this, word for word how it was sent to us. Judge for yourself.

Okay. Here's how the scene was described to me. The setting... Tattooine (sic). Yoda and Chewbacca are together when the Clonetroopers are ordered to kill the Jedi. What does Yoda do? He grabs some mud, smears it on his face, jumps on Chewbacca's back, acts all stupid like his first appearance in Empire Strikes Back, and pretends to be Chewie's pet.

To further the deception, he farts. Yes, you read that right: Yoda farts.

Let the wild speculation begin.

UPDATE - Response has (obviously) been pretty overwhelming, but at least one person has pointed out that Yoda and Chewie will probably be on Kashyyyk, not Tatooine. Of course, we're looking into it. Stay tuned.

I seriously hope this is NOT true.

Discuss! If anyone needs me I'll be recuperating at the hospital. Send all flowers, chocolate, get-well cards and thermal detonators to Bed 4, Ward E, Detention Block AA-23.

26 August 2004, 01:17 PM

The part about the Clones being ordered to kill the Jedi sounds plausable enough, and even the Yoda pet sound like something Lucas would think about doing, I will be in the bed next to hisham if Yoda (our wise, dignified Yoda !) lets one rip on the big screen.

Darth Fierce
26 August 2004, 01:43 PM
And I'll be six feet under if Yoda farts. And I thought Boss Nass' resemblance to Hooch the dog , from "Turner and Hooch" was bad...:(

Darth Fierce :vader:

26 August 2004, 01:53 PM
Okay, what's the deal? Any time we ever hear any new little thing about Star Wars we pick it apart and say how much it sucks! Why do we do that when we don't even know the context for the events in the first place? Why not just chuckle, shake our heads, and chalk it up to Yoda being very very good at convincing others (in this case, a bunch of Clone Troopers) that he isn't a Jedi. Yoda is not above compromising a little dignity to survive to fight another day (let alone train Luke).

I for one will not be in the hospital over something as simple as Yoda disguising himself.

Reverend Strone
26 August 2004, 02:45 PM
I have no problem with any of that, right up until the farting bit. That would just be a sad shame, and more silly kiddy humour that just seems so out of place in a dark SW movie. 3PO's antics on Geonosis were bad enough to snap me out of my enjoyment of those scenes in AOTC, so I do hope this is just bunk.

The Tatooine reference actually gives me some hope that the whole thing is indeed nothing more than a bad rumour.

Yeffan Ooska
26 August 2004, 05:37 PM
The only thing that's out of place in that rumour is the word 'Tattooine'.

Sadly, the rest of it is completely plausible given Lucas' recent track record in the 'humour' department.

Let's just hope the rumour about Yoda telling the Clones "Away put your weapons, I mean you no harm" is what really happens in this scene.

29 August 2004, 12:50 AM
As the Rev said, acceptable up until the fart joke, though it doesn't sound like something Lucas would come up with (though given that he allowed the fart jokes to remain in Ep1, and all of John Hales bad puns in Ep2, so that probably doesn't mean much.) However, until I see this in the final film, I'm going to treat it like the usual onslaught of malicious rumors that get circulated about Star Wars each movie (the pink Yaddle, Padme's nude scene, Jar Jar's love interest, etc.)

29 August 2004, 06:19 AM
I, personaly, don't believe in this rumor one bit. While the Tatooine thing might disprove it, there is also another thing: the fact that the Clone Troopers would not recognize Yoda. I'm pretty sure that Yoda's reputation, especially amoung the clones as he is one of their top generals, and the very few amount of others of his species would give him away easily if he was just rigind a Wookiee's back, fart or no.

29 August 2004, 01:32 PM
Unfortunately, I wouldn't put anything past Lucas anymore.

If this happens in Episode III, I'll just walk out of the theater and have done with Star Wars, I think. There's only so much I can put up with as a fan.

30 August 2004, 03:41 AM
If you walk out on the film, for something that trivial, IMO you are not a fan.

30 August 2004, 07:20 AM
I agree. If someone walks out on a film they never really wanted to see the movie in the first place, and will only be leaving seats available for those who really want to see the movie.

So save your money, everyone. If this is the attitude you're going into the movie with, how can you expect to get anything else out of it?


You could respect George Lucas' decisions as a director, film maker, and story teller. Sure, I've disagreed with a lot of things he's decided, especially in the prequels, but that doesn't mean I want his blood. All my belly-aching and whining will never get him to change his movies, nor do I want him to. I'd much rather hear HIS version of how things happen in a galaxy far, far away, than how it should have been from a bunch of other people.

It's impossible for the Star Wars movies to come out without any sort of expectation from the audience, so why not go in with good ones? You might just come out with something good too.

So either go to the movie, enjoy what parts of it you can, and walk out saying, "Oh, it had parts I liked, but it's nothing like Episode (fill in the blank with favorite roman numeral)," or don't go at all. Nobody likes watching others complain about a movie they came to enjoy.

Snib Snub
30 August 2004, 09:02 AM
It cracks me up to watch people grasp onto any rumor and run with it no matter how obviously ludicrous it is.

Let's break this one down a bit though (cause I'm at work and a bit bored right now.)

A. Regardless of my opinion of Lucas's humor - it is directed at kids and not the hardcore adult fans. I, for one, can watch the movies and enjoy them understanding that fact. That being said, Ep. 3 is a tragedy. Filmmaking is Lucas's life and schooling. He knows what a tragedy is and does one schooled in film arts really think flatulence humor has place in a tragedy? (although I must admit, I'm a typical guy and think flatulence is damn funny - AND I also enjoyed Yoda's "meeting Luke" antics. I can just picture Yoda's robe flapping about from breaking wind...heheh...but I digress...)

B. Don't you think the Clone Troopers know who the hell Yoda is during this time period?

C. Do you really think Chewbacca has a huge role in the movie? I'm pretty certain he's going to be around during the Kashyyyk scenes, and not traipsing off to Tatooine with the Jedi twins and Yoda.

D. We already know that Chewie and Obi-wan don't meet in the movie. Obi-Wan lives on Tatooine to watch over Luke. Logic dictates that it's Obi-Wan that deliver's baby Luke to Tatooine and the Lars.

30 August 2004, 11:30 PM
We already know that Chewie and Obi-wan don't meet in the movie

Very true. Otherwise, when Han asks luke: "Where did you dig up that old fossil" in ep4, chewie would be able to tell him all about it, but chewie didn´t know, if he did meet obi in ep3 that would lead to inconsistency.

31 August 2004, 11:43 AM
Please. I've been a Star Wars fan longer than some of you have been alive. Just because I am a fan (and yes, I am), doesn't mean I'm going to accept everything that comes my way without criticism. Go back a year or two in my posting history on Holonet and you will see I was one of the most steadfast defenders of Lucas' decisions, no matter how unpopular. In fact, I've probably echoed some of <b>Jedi_Shadow</b>'s sentiments word for word. But sometimes things change.

There are plenty of things about Star Wars that I love, including the original trilogy. But I reserve the right to pick and choose how I spend my time in regards to Star Wars. I watch the movies, I play the RPG, but I don't read the books because I consider them garbage. I never watched the Ewoks Adventure because I don't like the Ewoks. I don't watch Phantom Menace over and over because I consider it the worst entry in the movie series. I won't be buying the OT on DVD because it makes too many changes to the original. (It should be noted, I think some of the changes were for the better, but the majority were not.)

I will admit to being really on the edge as far as the movies are concerned. Phantom Menace was a big disappointment for me. I tried to put on a game face about it for years, but the truth is, while I don't find it horrible, I don't find it anywhere near up to par with the other Star Wars movies. And the excuse that "you're not twelve anymore" doesn't hold water with me anymore, because the Lord of the Rings trilogy proved to me that you don't have to be a kid to be really swept away by good fantasy filmmaking (nor does a movie aimed at younger people have to be stupid). Attack of the Clones was better, but still not up to the OT, in my opinion. I hate to admit it, because I was one of the staunchest defenders of Lucas for years, but the best thing to come out of the prequels for me has been the Clone Wars cartoon.

But, I will be seeing the third movie, for many reasons. In no small part because I do want to see the "end" of the story that's taken up 20 years of my life or so. And hope does spring eternal that this really will be the film everyone says it's going to be. At this point I have too much invested not to give it a shot and see it through. And yes, I do hope for the best in regards to this final installment (if indeed it is). I also fear the worst -- hopefully that won't happen.

I will admit to being at the end of my rope as a fan. I'm disappointed that the films are not up to the quality that they could be (I feel Lucas has done better, and is capable of MUCH better, but needs someone who can say 'no' to him.) I'm tired of Lucasfilm's steadily upraised middle finger in regards to their fans and the unaltered OT, which the fans who made this franchise what it is deserve to see. It doesn't have so much to do with one joke, one line, so much as one more disappointment where I just have to say, "I'm not really having fun with this anymore, and it's time to go." But because I walk out of a movie doesn't mean I am done with Star Wars forever -- it'll just be part of the world (or franchise, if you prefer) that I want little to do with. It won't diminish the OT for me.

I think one fart joke is plenty for Star Wars, and two is too much. The bar does not need to be set that low, and moreover I don't feel that as a fan I need to put up with it being set that low. We've seen Yoda as comic relief once already, done very well, and to see it again, only cruder and more juvenile, would, well, suck. And yeah, I would walk, not because of just this one thing, but because of a lot of things -- it would be the straw that broke the camel's back.

This is all completely hypothecial, though. As has been said before, this is all just a rumor. No one hopes more than me that Episode III will pull out all the stops and be great -- and leave out Yoda farting, please.

So I hope that clears things up. Sorry for the lengthy post. Oh, and don't worry, I won't be going opening night -- so the "true" fans' seats are safe :p

7 September 2004, 10:52 AM
From what I have heard (albeit not because I wanted to, but more because I had to), is that Yoda meets Chewbaca on Kasshyk (I can never spell that one...) in the closing battles against the Seperatists. After the war is over, Palpy (almost immediately) changes his sights to the Jedi, claiming that they had betrayed the Republic and were responsible for the bloodshed. The orders are issued, and the Clones turn, though Chewie and the rest of the Wookies defend Yoda and allow him to escape to Coruscant (nice choice of planets, eh?). While flatulance could potentially be involved, I dont see either Yoda or Chewbacca as the clowns of the movie (thats why Lucas created obnoxious characters like JarJar, 3PO, and the Ewoks) and I dont see Mr. Lucas as one to pass up a battle as incredible as Wookies vs. Stormtroopers (even if theyre technically not Stormtroopers), since that was something the original trilogys script had called for.

Lord Kjeran
11 September 2004, 07:12 AM

Radioactive Panda had a strip where one of the main characters (mad scientists) is missing when queried, the other one replies that he's looking for a dimension where Lucas didn't suffer his fatal heart attack in '93. The other guy replies that Spielburg's SW prequels are good, with 17 Oscars between them, but it would great to see what Uncle George would have done! 8o


28 September 2004, 03:26 PM
Originally posted by dgswensen
Unfortunately, I wouldn't put anything past Lucas anymore.

If this happens in Episode III, I'll just walk out of the theater and have done with Star Wars, I think. There's only so much I can put up with as a fan.

I wouldn't put anything past him either. Somehow, GL has decided that descending to bodily function humor is part of what makes these "Kids Movies". I am saddened that he feels that need to condescend to children.

I won't walk out of the theater, but I won't rush back to see it again, either.

28 September 2004, 06:16 PM
here,here.. Jedi Shadow..agree with you there..

if you over hype the movie with your own uber expectations then dont complain about it..
I enjoyed the movies..there were some things that didnt agree with completely but oh well.. its only a movie series telling a story..
not every movie is ever going to meet with your personal expectations as to how it should be.
thats why i love watching movies without other people..
no ×××××ing/whining/complaining during the movie.
-the thrill of having your own theater- you get to watch the movie before everyone else,when you load the film and do a run through..

29 September 2004, 02:13 PM
That argument doesn't hold any water for me, unfortunately. My expectations for Star Wars since Episode I have been anything but high (I wish I felt differently about that, but I don't). Episode II had some very good moments, which I have no problems acknowledging, but overall was significantly inferior to the OT. That has nothing to do with "over-hyping" the movie. If anything, it was under-hyped in my mind.

But, of course, even the originals are now subject to constant change. My expectations hardly have anything to do with that happening, now, do they?

Zalaz Mavi
2 October 2004, 12:48 PM
For me, the most glaring problem with this rumor is that fact it's set on Tatooine. Lucas and crew shot all of the Tatooine sequences while filming Attack of the Clones so that they wouldn't have to return to Tunisia. The reason being that only one short scene was to take place on Tatooine (Kenobi handing the baby Luke over to the Lars couple) and the cost of shipping a crew to film only a few minute moment at a later time wasn't justified.
By extension, the rumor falls apart in that Peter Mayhew hadn't even been cast yet, during the filming of AotC.
All in all, somebody is just trying to pull a very poor joke on everybody...

Sensei Maiku
24 November 2004, 11:05 PM
I have one problem with this rumor, it is the fact that I can't see yoda, yet alone chewbacca, reducing themselves to that level. We see yoda in clone wars take off after a potential sith lord and do a clint eastwood like ligh saber grab and do some amazing flips and jumps. No would a jedi of that calibur be frightened by even a few hundred clone troopers...yet along with a wookie by his side?SPOILER!!!!!!!! I don't think so..we see mace go out in a blaze so to say in this next episode from other rumors..mace of course taking a lot of enemies down with him. Do we honestly believe that yoda could not do the same?