View Full Version : IC: The Threesome Menace

6 April 2005, 12:29 PM
... And thus your ship, a trusty old Ghtroc 720 named Fossil Key, speeds away from Hutt space. An all encompassing crescendo from the hyperdrive seems to rattle the entire ship. The new drive you had had mounted in place of the broken one is audibly louder. You can hear the buzzing of the electrical installation, while standing on the aft of the ship, near the cannibalised Nubian.
Garth sure did a good job mounting the drive, but were the Klatooinians as proficient with their part of ensuring that the power installation holds? You'd doubt it, but you rather hope it is so. It's better that way.
The plethora of stars, that twinkle so, extend their gaze to you as the ship plunges into the welcoming embrace of the Galaxy.
You're on your way again.

As usual, those couple of days stolen from you just seem to last and last. The humming of the drive is a thing that you get used to quickly. Slian's practical jokes aren't a thing you'll ever get used to. And that last time? Sure, he doesn't need to have the lights on when he's in the head, but that doesn't mean that when you go to take a piss he can just switch the lights off when your in the midst of things.
Or that Leela likes when he springs on her in the darkness of her room, when she's about to lie on the bunk. Jumpy fellow, that's what he is.
Luckily, you can always beat him at holochess. Or simply beat him - that is when you manage to hit that quick-as-lightning little rodent.
Yes, the days go by and the stars whizz by, too.
You hope you shall arrive soon, as you are cradled to sleep by the slight rocking.

Actually, when you retrospect, you are amazed how late you realised that something was wrong. The jump took longer than calculated, even if you account for incomplete jump data you had... So - suddenly you hear the beeper, and find yourselves thrown out of your bunks.
Whoa! The ship never gave you such a rough finale to a jump! It must be the new hyperdr... - the thought trails away, unfinished.
FIRE!!! Garth jumps to his captain's seat, his eyes running from screen to screen - FIRE - FIRE - MALFUNCTION - DAMAGE - LOSS OF POWER -
"Quick! Kuss! Shut it down!" Garth yells.
The Sullustan runs for a fire extinguisher - man! man! man! A victim of his own practical joke!
Where did I put that thin...
"Algar! There is smoke in my room!" comes a shout from Leela. That means that the left ion engine is having a day off.
That rapid increase of temperature in the cooling system don't look good - don't look good at all, DAMMIT! Whatodo - whatodo ---
Kuss manages to arrive at the aft hyperdrive. Yep, no doubt about it - flames licking the circuitry, control panels already a melted mould. He whooshes the flames with his fire extinguisher - but that won't do in the long run. If you do run long with those heat levels rising that fast!
Leela, coughing from the smoke, no make-up on and still in her tight-fitting pyjamas enters the cockpit, sits in the co-pilots place and -
"Do SOMETHING, for rancor sakes!" To be honest: her kibitzing is not helping you...
"THERE! A planet! Go for it!"
"Whatever you say, princess" with a charming smile and a - yes, in fact - polite nod of the head the captain acknowledges the hint.
He has seen the planet - the scanners are a bit loaded with static, though. That nebula (on the verge of which the system is) and probably the internal damage do tell on the computer, but you manage to identify that jungle place as Darlyn Boda... And you pick up some radio transmissions... You're already in it's gravity field, closing all the time.
Will that old Fossil Key hold?

7 April 2005, 02:36 PM
er, hmm...yeah...um... I had it all planned, you know... that's a good place for an emergency landing... i guess... i hope...I mean, yeah, everything's under control, people. hey, princess, could you get dressed or somethin', we never know whether the inhabitants will approve of your tight pyjamas...
so go to your room! adds with an even more charming grin on his handsome, masculinely vital face.
and as for you, Kuss, you're lucky we're probably in for a crash here, so I don't have time to kick your round ass for putting the ××××ty data in our comp. but wait till we have a minute... now the grin gains a somewhat malicious quality...
"hope we have a chance to tell someone about it one day" he thinks to himself, clutching the steers with a growingly sweaty hand...

7 April 2005, 03:17 PM
For rancor's sakes! What am I doing with these two lousy bums in the middle of nowhere, in my OWN ship that is going to crash in a minute coz of your brainless, thoughtless lack of...everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and instead of kicking a waste bin my kick hits Kuss, who, stupid as he is, was standing in a place devoted to the waste bin. :P
And how dare you make fun of my pyjamas??? at least I've got one! and you don't have even this bit of luxury in your stinky life, let alone your own ship! ace of spades my ass! Better do something well, at least once in your lifetime and get us out of this mess! after these words I proudly strut out of the cockpit, not paying any attention to knocked down Kuss.:)

7 April 2005, 07:18 PM
Kuss wasn't paying much attention to the quarelsome crew. The only thing he was concearned with at the moment was his hopeless firefight. There was no point in wasting time arguing with Garth, cause he would not admit he has made any mistake anyway... Also Leela's act of agression towards "the bin" was not properly responded to, as Sullustan was too worried about his life. "Damn!! Not now! Not like this! Auch! That's hot dammit!!!" he thought. And everything would probably end peacefully, were it not for the princess' last remark. "Nobody talks like that about The Ace"... Leela knew that their long dreamt about space ship is the weak spot of both. The small firefighter turned arround, aimed his "weapon of choice", the last extinguisher on board by the way, at the proudly strutting lady, and shouted "Your ass? Ok sister, have it your way!". After that a stream of foam covered her, starting in a place where back loses its noble name and finishing at the top of her head... Now that was some sight!! Kuss felt quite amused by this, seeing princess' face (and who knows what else) in such an extraordinary situation... untill it crossed his mind that his firefight might be a little harder without any foam left... "Damn..." he thought...

8 April 2005, 03:47 AM
seeing that the situation is getting slightly out of hand (when actually was the last time it was really "in" hand?), Garth decides it's high time to act like the captain. his voice is one that allows no questions:
quiet! both of ya! Kuss, goddammit, you're not helping me with this! Lee, darling, leave the guy alone, he's gonna get punished later anyway.
and i wasn't kiddin' with this gettin' dressed, y'know, who knows what expects us down there. if you want to be useful, you could prepare the survival kits for the three... um... -casting a glance upon the sullustan- two-and-a-half, of us... - once again he feels this strange satisfaction on finding he can remain cool and even joke a bit, even in the most extreme circumstances... yep, if anyone's any groovy around here that gotta be cpt. Algar...
now, Kuss, you've emptied the extinguisher again, haven't you? you moron. not that it could do any good now... now, get your ass to the panel and give max power to the front shields, coz we're goin' face down... i'll try to steer us into some place we can actually land in... there gotta be some plains here... - he peers into the main screen with the map of Darlyn Boda on it, at the same time feeling that buzz that ordering people around always gives him... yep, old Zapp was right, Garth was born to be a leader... :hansolo:

8 April 2005, 04:26 AM
In such situation there is no use quarreling with these two..well, with the two. It woul be simply beneath my dignity. Therefore I don't pay much attention to the orders of this conteited and self-righteous Algar.
you are not the one who is supposed to give orders, right? And I'm gonna do whatever I want. And if I fancied staying in this foamy pyjamas, I certainly would. But I don't and that's why I'll change, not because you say so
and you, kuss, get out of my way 'coz I can't look at you being so miserable. Can't you even use such an uncomplicated tool as a fire extinguisher without damaging everything aroud you?and please, give me a favour and don't say anything else 'coz your every word, not to mention every deed, make the situation worse. I'm really sick and tired of wasting time with you two...
After uttering these words I quickly leave the cockpit and go to my room to change my poor, devastated pyjamas. When I'm alone in my room at last I start to wonder how on earth we are going to land here in this veritable jungle. I am really fed up with this situation, with my "wonderful" fellows, with their lack of competence, witt and and completely no respect towards me. I feel that this overwhelming burden is going to take control over me so I try to think about something else, something more pleasant... but it's rather impossible hearing the noises of Algar and Kuss from the cockpit, who, strangely enough, cannot cope with the machine at all. so I put myself together and come back to them..

8 April 2005, 04:58 AM
"Oh man, why do I have to travel with those megalomaniacs?" thought Sullustan. He was actually used to carrying out orders, as he has spent his whole life as a part of a pirate crew, but he has never been moved around by anyone not capable of supporting his authority with physical (or at least mental) superiority. "I must settle things with Garth and this spoilt brat Leela eventually. TURN ON you stupid computer!! Well, yes, maybe after we land... safely... Oh, lookie here, what have we got here...BZZZZZZT... Damn!!". At the moment, maintaining stable power levels was more important than discussing a matter of competence...

11 April 2005, 10:25 AM
In such a situation, no one would be thought of as incompetent. When your ship bursts into fire (to be honest - by now a small conflagration) no one asks you to work with the precision of an Stormtrooper.
But there is a difference between working under the strain of all-encompasing chaos of a burning ship and loosing one's head in a moment of crisis.

With the male part of the crew in the cockpit, straining their minds as to what to do, Leelaina quickly changes into something more adequate for some jungle hiking. Which is, by the way, quite probable in this situation. Luckily, those two apes managed to vent the room from that ion engine smoke.

Meanwhile, Garth and Slian try to ascertain the current situation. Though usually it's Algar who knows how to bite on those computers, this time he can't. Too preocupied with maintaining the current course, he wipes his forehead from sweat. The steers on the old 'turtle' are a bit obdurate now, since the left ion engine DEFINITELY took the hint and stopped working just a second ago.
So it is up to otherwise computer-incompatible Slian to gather some info about the current situation.

"By the way, Kuss, you flattened out that hyperdrive fire?"- asks Algar.
"Errr... Listen, Garth, we've no time for such rubbish." - answers Kuss, as he reads the contents of the screen:

Engine section
Left ion engine DAMAGED
Right ion engine OK
Manouvering engines 75% POWER
Hyperdrive motivator DAMAGED
(possible fire)

Oh, swell - thinks Kuss.
Then there is the ventilation system malfunction, lights are on the verge of going out, and the shield generator is also taking the sap. The lasers are still at full-power, the cargo ramp is also ok... Cargo hold cooling is also looking good... Maybe you could redirect some power to other systems...
The temperature levels are rising - even Garth can feel it himself, now - and it won't take long to witness what is called a reactor meltdown.
You HAVE to do something fast.

With the planet's visage filling out you viewscreen, you are closing on to the atmosphere.
The radio beeper goes on - you are being called...

11 April 2005, 01:12 PM
great, the hyperdrive's dead, the engine's dead, the shields are dead, everything crashes and burns, but the freakin' radio is workin'... geez, i'm startin' to hate this ship... no, don't know why but somehow i'm not in the mood for chit-chat now...
- garth once more allows himself for a little bit of irony, but immediately gets serious again:
ok, crew, it's official, we're losing her; we better think of getting out of her before she actually explodes... which is pretty soon, i believe. i could try to perform some mad slalom between the trees and the rocks, but this could end badly for us... we wouldn't manage to land anyway, we'd be blown to pieces first. that's your ship, Lee, so you decide, but i suggest we just let her die peacefully and get our asses out in the pod, which is more important than any ship in the world, correct me if i'm wrong. i think i could steer her over some gentler surface, something smoother at least, we got that much of manouvering power left, and then we'd eject ourselves. and we're kinda short of time now, so hurry up, girl, it ain't jokin', y'know...
- he says, setting his cold steel-grey eyes at the woman who had the misfortune of hiring them to operate her ship. strange how sensible and matter-of-fact garth is appearin' in these last few minutes... you could almost think he is actually a competent, experienced space traveller... hmmm...

11 April 2005, 02:25 PM
It's strange how a vision of nearing death changes human's (and not only human's) approach towards reality... Not noticing the radio, Kuss hurryingly stated his opinion: "Hey pretty!! For once I must agree with 'Cpt. I'll land anything anywhere!'... Let's get the hell out of here!”. He was never a mastermind when it goes to weaving cunning plans, but thoughts were streaming between his big ears with a terrible speed. “Man! Being alive and without any ship is better than death... aaa... well... being alive on an unknown planet, without any chance of getting out of it is not too optimistic either... DAMN!! I would have to spend the rest of my life with those two!! NO! Please!! I wanna die!!”... In this moment of despair only one thing seemed to be obvious to him: “Maybe we should try to save this piece of junk... even without us on board” said the Sullustan, hoping for Garth’s pride and trust in his abilities to overwhelm his reasoning and downgrading attitude to every plan of our little fellow. “I don’t know, maybe we could put all the power to eng...er... to what is left of engines and shields and make the ship slow down as much as possible just before the crash... of course that would probably kill everyone onboard, but we can use this pod, and just ‘tell’ the ship what to do.. I don’t know... just thinking ya know... But it might work... I think...But probably it’s above your abilities, isn’t it?”... As crazy as this idea was, to Kuss it seemed just crazy enough to work... like I said, not much of a mastermind was this adventurer.

12 April 2005, 05:40 AM
The situation was grave. For Kuss to come up with such a bold, even machiavellical, plan - which seemed to be against Algar's reasoning was an extraordinary feat.
But, truth be said, to complete the plan Kuss fit was not.

Catching Slian Enin's gaze, Algar understands his secret meaning:
"I, a humble rodent on this magnificent, yet burning, ship am but to feeble a being to adjust those power levels. It is You who are our only hope... Our saviour!"
Yeah, that would be simple: just swap places with Kuss, fix the comp in a jiffy and autopilot her to land...
And it is I, Garth Algar, who is the hero.

But, Leelaina Corleone has a different perspective on those things. Those power settings shouldn't be to difficult to set, I've done such things with uncle's power generators... It's basicly the same thing, and I'd have the guarantee that it'd be done right.
On the other hand, do we have time for all of this?

Truly, it is Leela's call.
And there is the radio transciever still beeping - wonder what the ...

Fossil Key begins its descent through the atmosphere. The stench of smoke and the heat are unbearable - so is the cacophony of noise - alarm sirens, radio beeper, excited Kuss yelling, the engines blazing...
Your clothes, all wet from the sweat, stick tightly to your bodies.

Choices to make.

12 April 2005, 06:05 AM
Ok, as I see that we're really in for..whatever may come, I put my pride away and don't think about my two fellows in terms of enemies but rather in terms of my only chance to survive and preserve MY ship. (do I realy give up my pride? hmmm...)
Maybe your idea, Kuss is not so brilliant but what else we can do? So move your ass, my dear Garth, and help me! If you set the autopilot, and i'll readjust the power levels, and we both hurry up, we might have a chance of making it before we crash. Don't give me this shocked chauvinistic stare of yours, I've done similar things in the past. Maybe the circumstances were a bit different but... I think I can manage. So will you help me?... please... ( What am I saying, for God's sake? Am I making a plea for help to this... ape???)
And remember that the ship is everything we have!
As it is easy to observe I feel a little bit dizzy, no I'm horrified to be honest! Nothin seems to matter now but the bloody burning machine with its steers in Garth's trembling hands.. . I don't wanna die!!! (before I get old...) See how one can utterly change in the face of death? It's amazing;)

12 April 2005, 07:38 AM
who knows what was more scary to garth? the face of death around the corner or the option of teamwork with Lee. can the gal be serious? can she really be capable of something as heroic? and what if she suceeds? will this change his attitude towards her? can he bear being not the only hero on the scene?
and if only the plan that could save them all, including the ship, came from him... but it was none other than the little, funny fellow, whom garth always looked down on (metaphorically and literally)... can a plan thought of by Kuss be any worth trying? and what's far more important, why didn't he think of it? what can it mean? what does it say about him?
and supposed they make it, they manage to get the ship down more or less in one piece, and this won't be entirely and exclusively thanks to garth's abilities and cold blood? how will he be able to look at himself in the mirror again? wouldn't it mean that he failed, dramatically failed as a leader, as a professional, as a............... male? (the very thought of it sent shivers down his spine, and he stumbled visibly, as if coz of a sudden vertigo... he felt nauseous)
truly, all the load of self-confidence, bordering closely on narcissism, that he breathed with up till now, was put to a test in this very moment... but the time was not going to wait for him, the damned radio beeper yanked him out of his inertia.
he gathered his thoughts as much as he could and spoke, slowly with clear effort (his throat was dry and the very articulating of the words gave him pain):
alright, girl, let's try it... Kuss, you grab the steers and do yor best to keep her up... and-uh... you Lee, go to the power control panel... over there... and-uh... try to redirect all the power that's left to the engines, the ones that are still workin'... and the front shields, like Kuss just said... but leave enough for the auto-pilot and the escape pod launcher, the rest you can cut off... i'll see to the auto-pilot... and let's all hope it works, guys...
-only garth knows how much it cost him to utter all this; all the time he avoided looking in their eyes, he was just afraid they'd see the doubt in his... moving closer to the main computer, he looks at the beeping transciever and with an exclamation - goddamn you!!! - he switches it on, just to get rid of this brain-piercing sound. he hears the transmission...

12 April 2005, 11:01 AM
While Garth turns the radio on, Kuss still tries to recover from shock... If it weren’t for the overall mobilization of forces and general effort to do something constructively, he would certainly stand still for another few minutes stunned by what he has just heard and what he was seeing now... It was a truly amazing experience to see all of them working together, more or less, and everyone doing exactly his, or her to be precise, job. Leelaina, operating on the open heart of the ship, Garth performing a bit of lobotomy, and he himself trying to keep the patient steady to make the operations easier... Fortunately, the small fellow handled his new assignment far better than convincing computer to cooperate, this just seemed a little less... well... intellect-challenging and more of a physical work. Now, strangely enough, he felt a bit more comfortable, and actually thought that everything might end well... the only thing that was constantly bothering him, was the rising temperature. Even for him, a “spawn of the volcanic world of Sullust”, it was a real pain in the... back... (well, he has actually never seen his homeworld, but still he felt it gave him some advantage in these conditions)... “We better hurry up! It’s so hot my ass is starting to sizzle like a well fried Taanabian Mud Beatle!” said Kuss to draw Leela’s attention. “I’m afraid if we don’t do anything about it the ship will die one way or another! We should somehow choke it! Maybe by getting rid of some air?! What do ya think precious? If we evacuate high enough and ‘leave the door open’ for a while, the atmosphere should be thin enough to kill the fire!” He said that feeling for the first time, that this crew has quite a potential, and could do hell of a mess ‘in the profession’...

12 April 2005, 11:46 AM
Leela sits at the control panel, just behind Algar, and gets down to business. Actually, no one could have suspected that she's so good with computers, but well - you never know...
As she focuses her attention on solving the problem, she hardly hears - not to mention: understands - what is being said on the radio, as Garth (having switched places with Kuss, sitting on the right-hand side now) tries to fish out anything through the static buzzing of the transciever.

*KZZZTT* read --- peat - - dentified ve--- l do yo *shtrrrRTTTTTHsss* Copy? --- is Mos --cley -paceport!

-"Now that is one incomprehensible blabber. I better tune in to that groove, now. Afterall, I didn't turn that on just to listen to some static" - mumbles Garth, as he broods over the radio panels. It wasn't for nothing that Zapp Brannigan called him 'wonder-hands'. All it takes is the right touch.
The metallic voice is heard again, this time quite understandable through the noise of ether - or is it just that your Fossil Key took you over the edge and you're about to cross the Styxxe nebula?

-ssel come in! Repeat, do you read me. This is Mos Viceley spaceport! We are picking you up on our sensors -- in need of assistance? Copy?

Meanwhile, Leela manages to drop some secondary systems and reroute the power to the shields and the single engine.
Everything went - internal lights, inertail compensators (yes, you feel the akward lack of gravity), lasers, even the life support systems (except for the cockpit, for the time being).
Kuss picks up on it and angles the shields double forward, cutting the throttle and channeling the engine power to the shields for a second -
Rough, rough - this is what you call a real rough ride. The kitschy bone amulet you picked up on Klatooine floats down from the upper pannel and hits Slian on the brow.

Heat. Incapacitating heat. Asphixiating heat. You need relie--
You hear something in the cargohold explode. Suddenly, Leela reels back as the panel she's been operating on sends a slush of sparkles towards her!

A superheated comet of death, this fiery doom descents upon this unsuspecting world...
The upper strata of the atmosphere. A wounded 'turtle' - as if plunging into an emerald lake, you leave behind a thick, black trail of smoke... The lifeblood of your ship.
A vast panorama of endless multifarious flora dotted with bulging mud pools - even mud lakes - is going to be the deathbed of this old Ghtroc.

Not so easy, though - you smile slightly. You are a crew. A team.

OOC: Pearl, feel free to act as Blood suggested. Or in any way you deem appropriate.
NB - you all passed your skill checks... Impressive.

13 April 2005, 07:22 AM
I am really fed up with the situation and though I know how to operate these panel controls I have no bloody idea why they burst into flames. What's more I burnt myself a little bit and I feel that I can't help Garth and Kuss any longer.
Sorry guys but these panels are dead and I can't do anythin' with them, so we better make use of the escape pod and get out of this ship. But before we leave we must contact these.... whoever they are. Could you do that Garth? Maybe they could help us land or somethin'... and you Kuss, maybe try to do somethin' with the fire, as you said before...
I feel that I'm losing patience and cold blood. The heat is unbearable, my hand's are hurting me like hell, I'm almost suffocated with smoke..
and suddenly the feat of anger and desperation gains control over me
Maybe I'm a spoilt brat, maybe I am behaving like hysterical woman, maybe I really can't control this ××××ty panels! but I want it to be over!!! I want to land, now!!!! Do you hear me?now, at this very ××××ing moment!!!!! I want to be safe an sound and...I need bandages for my hands for God's sake!!! I am burnt and I need to be taken care of...Jesus, You see I even don't know what I'm sayin' to you now! but I really do need some...please, do something with this machine 'coz Iwon't stand it any more... In this very moment I feel that I'm slowly sliding down the floor, losing consciousness...(sorry but that's the way I am:)

13 April 2005, 08:11 AM
garth finished setting the autopilot directives, thinking to himself - hope i haven't miscalculated anythin'...- and simultaneously speaking to the voice on the other side of the transciever:
fossil key to the spaceport, fossil key to the spaceport! need help, repeat, need help! ship burning, emergency landing in the mud! 3 on the board, pod evacuation! can you pick us? repeat, can you pick the pod with 3? - Leela's loud outbust of femaleness muffled the spaceport's response and suddenly in the corner of his eye he saw her pass out and drop on the floor. he knew they couldn't wait any longer; he jumped on his feet, and picked Leela from the floor, quickly but as gently as possible. holding her in his arms, in a true old-fashioned masculine manner, gave him a slight reload of his macho vibe... only slight...
he shouted: Kuss, time for us! done all we could, can't wait no longer, gotta go to the pod!- (in garth's case, overflow of adrenaline sometimes revealed itself in making him skip the pronouns...)- the auto-pilot's set and ready, just activate the bastard and let's get gone! whaddya said about this fire? think it might work? ah, the hell, anything's worth tryin' now!

13 April 2005, 11:01 AM
It is a fine day. With the temperatures slightly above 30* C it is a fresh, agreable day. The jungle calls. Overgrown toccats stalk in those deadly mazes of evergrowing trees - their angry barks are distinctly heard over that sounds of teeming life that inhabits those multicoloured plants.
A machette chops off a brach out of the way.
Fresh juice drips from the cut, little translucent drops flow down the broad leaves.
A silhouette wipes sweat from its forehead, looking up to the sky, beyond the arching trees -

Up in the sky, the final moments of a prolonged agony.
Algar, picking up Leela, hear the faint sound of a reply - the voice is extremely distorted, its pitch on a carouselle - up - down - distorted - the words -

Neg--ve! No ---s avaible now- we'll give word of ----- situat--- wait at the ---sh site!! Help --ll com-*****

The radio's dead.
The Sullustan sets the pressurisation controls - in a minute or two the ship'll depressurize, push out all remaining air outside and repressurise... That should kill those flames.
Sure, it can kill you too, but you don't intend to stay here that long.
Gath nods - the autopilot is set. Time to leave this place.
Kuss is the first to go - he is swallowed by the clouds of heavy smoke that linger in the corridor, he navigates through the oily substance, swallowed up - seeing only dim indications of the emergency lights - small, barely visible, pulsating red dots... He manages to find their bags, grab anything in sight and off he goes to guide Garth and Leela to the pod.
A sudden gust of a seering flame forces Slian to drop to the floor and he hits it hard, the railing resounding with a clang.
Blinded by smoke, Algar steps on Kuss' hand - a volcano of pain erupts form the crushed fingers. The small alien gets up, propped on his other hand, and continues to lead the way -
Like phantoms you fight through the flames to the right - and only - escape pod...
The deliverance is close - you enter, and the doors close after you - - - -

It is sad.
You part your ways - the ship on its last, lonely voyage. You see her through the side visor -
Are those tears? You look and your smoke-smeared teammates. Numerous cuts cover your bodies. Bruises. Burns. You are exhausted.
You - closing the surface real fast now.

The trees flash under the belly of the pod as it adopts a flat trajectory, treetops nearly brushing against it.

Screech - crash - yell - thud - - - - transparisteel daggers biting your bodies - a splash of hot mud -


14 April 2005, 09:11 AM
“Wooohooo!! What a ride!! We should do it again some time...” said Kuss ironically with pain going through his body with every word uttered. He was slowly standing up trying not to go horizontal cause of his overall wooziness. The touch-down was rough even for a crash-landing. The pod was slightly tilted, the atmosphere was hot and cloudy, the systems seemed not to have endured the hit any better than the passengers, sparkles were jumping out of the console, like gizka running away from a boar-wolf’s food bowl. Thin, white, foggy streaks were floating above electrical circuits and fading away above heads of our adventurers. “Hey cap. You all right? What’s with the Lady? Hope she’s fine...” Who knows what worried the Sullustan more, the health-state of his companions, or the fact that he actually cared... As soon as he, more or less, gained control over the benumbed body he took from the backpack his trusty old hunting knife and an extendable spear, and grabbed the seal of the hatch. “We better let in some fresh air, I have had enough of that smoke, and Lee could use some too I suppose... Is she still unconscious Garth?” In that moment the lock has given up. Kuss felt strangely excited, finally, after so many days of space travel, after everything that has happened before their crash-landing, he was about to set foot on ground... on a new planet he has never seen, or heard of, before. He pushed the door, but even with the locks removed it wouldn’t open... He gathered all his strength and hit it with his shoulder... The door opened with a hiss and a wave of hot air and steam forced into the shuttle. “Ok cap. Take care of the Lady, and I’ll check what's goin' on outside, if anything's wrong, I will give you a call... Who knows what we can find here”. If Garth paid more attention to his companion, he might notice a slight smile that appeared on his face together with the last words... With a vigorous, well, almost vigorous leap Slian left the pod and entered a new realm... “Mud?? Daaamn!!” said he just before his legs stuck in a brown matter throwing him off-balance. He tried to save the face from following his lower part of a body by sticking the spear in the founderous soil, but to no effect. Not without effort did he reach firmer ground. He shook off a layer of mud from his body, attached his lance to a catch on his back, and looked around the area covered with steam produced by, still cooling down, vessel. Somehow, he felt comfortable in this unknown space. It reminded him of old times when he used to hunt with his old crew in similar places, wild, unfriendly, mysterious, but above all... thrilling, exciting, and full of game...

15 April 2005, 11:29 AM
alright, Kuss, but don't go away too far, you hear me? the spaceport guys said they'd find us, so we better stay in one place. not that we could go anywhere with her being unconscious... oh, and, Kuss... um... be careful... - added garth almost inaudibly;
after Kuss got out from the mud and dissapeared from sight, garth examined the girl more closely. it seemed she wasn't hurt or burnt, no more than he or Kuss anyway. he couldn't carry her out of the pod, coz of the mud right next to the pod's door, so he just dragged her closer to the door, to let her get more air; and the air was fresh on this savage planet. he looked at her. she looked so peaceful and so calm, for the first time she didn't have the usual look of contempt towards him on her face... and, damn, she was pretty, too. how come he never noticed it before?... but he shook this thought away quickly. he is a professional, he works for her, and that settles it.
he put her legs a little higher than the rest of her body and sprinkled her mouth with some water from the canteen.
Lee! you hear me? Leela! open your eyes, girl! it's over, we made it. open your eyes, c'mon! Lee! wake up!

15 April 2005, 02:15 PM
Everythin's quiet, as if frozen and blurred...I can hear some sounds from the outside , voice maybe but I'm not sure. Sensations are supressed, smells deprived of any scent, colours without any hue, existence suspended. I'm coming back to life, to reality but very slowly and carefully. Feeling of the firm ground, of fresh air and of somebody's touch...In this very moment consciousness comes back like bat out of hell an' I can see Garth's face above mine. What the hell is he doing?! I want to scream, to shout at him but I feel too weak to do so. If only I could get up and say something, do something so as not to feel so dependent..And as I look at his face I suddenly spot this strange attentive expression... But wait a minute, Garth Algar caring and protective? Am I nuts or somethin'? I feel a little bit puzzled about my fellow so I just try to focus my attention on something else. As I look around I eventually realize that we've landed at last. I can see the trees(from the apes :)through the open door, the fresh and lively planet we're on. But there's something that doesn't fit, something missing...
Jesus, Garth where is Kuss?! Where the hell is Kuss?! I hear myself crying faintly. I'm really really scared but when I hear the explanation I feel somewhat uneasy 'coz of my hysterical behaviour. I just start to wonder if it is really impossible for me to control my emotiones. Eventually I decide that it, of course, is possible and that now I must do everythin' to rehabilitate...
By the way..I just wanted to say... I am really grateful that you helped me and... i just...thank you
After these words I try to get up and stand on my feet but I can't and what pisses me off most is that I have to hold on to Garth. But you know, I try to look calm and cool ( isn't it too late after all these recent outbursts of femaleness?;) so I ask Garth what actually has happened and what we are going to do now. And it's the first time I really miss Kuss' presence and I truly wish he was here...

just because you're a lizard it doesn't mean you're safe!

16 April 2005, 08:06 AM
Meanwhile, Kuss was walking deeper and deeper into the forest. He trod with supreme cautiousness not to make any unnecessary noise. Firstly, he was just curious and excited, but after some time he started to think rationally. He noticed that limbs, branches, and huge leafs of the trees created something like forest catwalks. He climbed up carefully and looked around, but he could not see the place where Fossil Key might be, he would have to climb much higher and it would be too risky. He thought of searching for any sign of the wreck but he recalled what Garth said about going too far. “Who knows how long we shall stay here... we could use some good food, even if we have some rations in the pod, a nice roast would certainly improve morale. Shouldn’t be too hard to find something”. Above his head he could see some round objects hanging down from massive branches. “Great, we have some fruit... that’s a good start. I only hope they are edible.” He climbed a little higher, found a firm place to stand on, and with one hand holding to some vine he started knocking off those yellow balls. He also cut a few big leafs and threw them down. When he did that he heard some sound coming from below, as if some animal was pushing through thick bushes on the ground. And so it was, some furry creature was lured by food falling down, and was consuming one of them. Kuss couldn’t hope for a better opportunity, quickly, but very carefully, he climbed down a tree that was not adjacent to the animal, not to frighten the small quadriped away. His hand gripped the knife firmly, but he knew not to take it out of the sheath (light reflection might be noticed by the pray). He was closing in slowly and in complete silence. When approaching the victim, he was focused entirely on its behaviour. Every move, every sound, every tension of animal’s muscles, might prove to be valuable information for the hunter. He prepared to throw his spear at the unexpecting beast. He has seen many similar ones in his past and knew what to expect of such, he knew he has only one chance to hit it. He aimed, held his breath, strained his arm, as if it was a bowstring. For Slian the whole forest was silent, nothing existed, only he and his prey. With one powerful thrust he sent the spear through the air and hit the creature in its foreleg. “Damn! Missed the neck!” Not wasting any time he leaped towards squealing victim and clenched its back. They started to roll on the bedding in a deadly struggle. Suddenly a long blade punctured the animal’s throat, which made it die silently, with only quiet wheezing and gurgling coming from its trachea. In a matter of seconds the struggle ended, but it was not over. Sullustan knew that where such pray can be found, there will also be a predator, and he knew nothing of those forests. The scent of blood might attract other inhabitants of this jungle, therefore, as quickly as he could Slian blocked the flow with some plants and laid the dead animal, together with some fruits, on the huge leafs he cut before, and started dragging it towards the pod. “I wonder what’s with others. Well, Garth knows what he’s doing, and he can take care of both of them. But I hope Leelaina is ok now. We should take her out of that steel coffin, and definitely make some fire... we don’t know when the sun sets here”. Not until he came back to the muddy pond did he notice that his arm was hurt. It was slightly dislocated, probably during the struggle, and now, when the adrenaline rush was fading away, this was becoming a great drawback. He left the body near the mud pit and went back to get some wood. With one hand not moving (it definitely reduced the pain) he prepared a small pile of dry sticks and small branches to make a fire. Finally, he brought some more wood and leaves, and put them on the mud to make sort of a floating bridge. He hesitated a bit before coming into the pod, he was away for about half an hour and one can do much in that time, but as a safety measure he started to whistle. “Howdy! How are you two? Lee, you all right? Anyone fancy a good roast meet? Let’s get out of this wreck and rest a bit?” He uttered those words with a smile on his face. He was really glad Lee was getting better, his little hunt gave him great pleasure, and he hoped it will be a nice surprise for others to have some tasty flesh. He was too excited to predict that he didn’t look as good as he felt. A numb, loosely hanging arm, body covered with mud, face with dried blood on it and twisted in a cheerful grinn...

17 April 2005, 05:37 AM
whoa...slow down Kussman! you got meat in half an hour? wonder what you would get in an hour and a half, a whole restaurant, i guess! - exclaimed garth, hoping that joking can cover his growing awe and respect for the 5-foot jungle huntsman; he helped Leela get out of the pod, and carried her through the mud till she could stand on her feet on solid ground.
you're better now, boss? - no longer afraid for her life, he could allow himself to lighten up the spirits a bit; he took a blanket ou of the pod and handed it too her - just sit down somewhere and rest now. you see, boss, what an apt crew you hired? we provide full service: emeregency landings, pod evacuations, medical treatment, wilderness survival, and in a minute some jungle catering, too. yep, i guess you could have made worse choice than Garth And Kuss Inc., huh? - he said with the one and only garth-smile [like this => :D ] and then turned to his first mate -
bring it, on, Kussman! let's eat it! oh, dude, what's wrong with your arm? damn, we gotta do something about it. hope it's not broken. last thing we need now. let me see it. - he said getting a medpack from the pod. he examined the sullustan's arm and seeing that it's probably only a sprain, he took it firmly in his hands - hold on, this might hurt a little - and with a loud SNAP! he put the bone in the joint where it belonged.
- there! this should be enough. you're better? alright, now, you prepare the thing to get roasted, and i'll make us a kitchen in the meantime. - he knelt down and started building a bonfire of the wood brought by Kuss. it almost felt like fun to garth, hunting, making fire... back to the roots, you could say...

17 April 2005, 06:31 AM
Feeling not strong enough to help them prepare the meal I take the blnket and sit under the tree, leaning against the trunk of an enormous tree. At first glance the jungle seems to be rather friendly than hostile with all these lavish plants, birds and other living creatures. The fresh air, pleasant, embracing shadow and cosiness of a woollen blanket makes me sleepy but I try to stay awake. After this crazy landing I at last I feel really good and strangely enough I don't perceive my friends( you see the word I use? "friends", what a change:) )as such miserable creatures. In fact I'm surprised with their..various talents. They succeded in landing, bringing me round and even providing nutrition:) in such conditions. I almost feel like on the camp or some kind of picnic.
Hey, Kuss, Yuo've really done well. I hope that your arm is better now and.. I can see your wounds in a while if you want.. and.. thanks for dinner by the way Am I tryin' to be nice? Well, it seems so..
I'd like to do somethin' coz I don't wanna feel so useless but I'm still too weak... So the only thing I can do is to move closer to the bonfire.
Maybe I could help you with these sticks or somethin'? Well, anyway if you need anything just tell me..
But Garth doesn't need my help, so I just lie near the fire wrapped in my blanket and plunge myself into this lovely laziness...

21 April 2005, 11:08 AM
You gather around the bonfire...
The sun is climbing higher and higher on the celestial firmament - a tremendous ammount of heat pours down on you.
Sweat buds on your faces and - despite the fact that you wipe it off time after time - stays there...

Dazed, confused, tired and still a little suffering from the shock of the crash, you wait - seemingly infinite eons go by, and the hope overture in your hearts is dying down.

-Huh, Kuss?
-You sure they got your radio message?
-You've asked that already.
-But are you sure?
-They got my message. Help'll come.
-But it's already afternoon - says Kuss, poking the hot ashes with a stick. Lee agrees:
-Yea - we wait too long.
-It'll come. It will.

By late afternoon, you sit hidden in the sudden fog rising from the marsh-like surroundings, creeping through the stiffling undergrowth. There was some wild animal once, but Garth drove it away with a blaster shot - the sudden squeal and bawl of the wounded beast silenced the jungle for a few minutes.
Then the sounds came back...
When dusk was approaching, you were quite resigned. Your comlinks couldn't catch anything - except for meaningles white noise.

And then Kuss rises suddenly. Anxiety shows on his face - his eyes open wide, he lowers his head slowly, bending it to one side... He silences you with a gesture of his hand. He's listening.

Something is coming here. And it is no animal. From that direction. -he points to a dense bush. He hears some slashing sounds.

24 April 2005, 04:34 AM
garth slowly stands up, eyes fixed in the direction shown by Kuss.
i hope these are the guys we're waiting for... yeah, it must be them, who else could it be in the middle of the jungle?...
- he says rather convincigly, but his right hand feels the blaster pistol by his side, just in case... if he learned something in all this time is to always expect the unexpected.

26 April 2005, 11:21 AM
You wait for the stranger to approach you. It is obvious by now that whoever is nearing you does not try to conceal his presence. You hear faint whistling, the cracking of branches underfeet.
You wonder whether to call out to the stranger, but you decide to remain silent and see what happens - and you precisely see glimpses of a figure in a cammo suit. The blade's shining lightens up the green visage of the alien approaching - you can barely distinguish the features through the net of branches.

Garth nods condescendingly to Leela and Kuss - this must be the promised rescue, his eyes seem to say. Though his DL-44 clings to his sweaty hand and is nearly outside its holster.

The easy sound of last year's top jizz song, "If I Only Had Two Arms" reaches your ears as from the final bush that separates you and the alien emerges a towering - nearly of two metre height - and well-built Duros. A smile lits up on his face, as he swings his long, big machette and puts it behind his heavy belt, sagging under the weight of numerous pouches.
Moving toward you, he extends his hand in a greeting and says (not without heavy accent):
Vell, vell... The crashniks, right? You - you - what's the name - aaah! The Fossil people, right? Hi! I'm your rescue. Mine is the dignity of Po Bootka.
He stops very close to you and you have a feeling that he would embrace you all immediately, were it not for the bag that he has on his left arm.

27 April 2005, 01:46 PM
As I see that the creature is of an amiable and very singing :) rather than hostile nature I decide to approach him a little bit and to speak to him.
Hello, we are really grateful that you've come to rescue us at last.. well.. let me introduce my companionship to you...so this is Sullustan, Slian Enin and here is Garth Algar.. I say these words rather hesitantly, pointing at my fellows. I simply don't know how I should behave in a presence of such a creture so I try to be kind but it's not that easy.. You know that I'm used to actin' in a slightly different way;)
And I am Leelina Corleone and indeed we're the Fossil people, that's the way you call us, isn't it...? I really feel unesy and sort of confused talking to our two meter high rescue creature, in the middle of the jungle, on the unknown planet, without any possibility to run away and..well, there's no need to panic I say to myself and continue my awkward monologue:
and this is.. or rather was my.. I mean our ship. And a.. we had..uhm..some problems with the machine that we could't cope with and..we simply had to land here and...atually we really appreciate the fact that you let us land here and..We hope thet you will help us..if it's possible of course ..to repair my..I mean our ship so that we could come bact on our track.. I mean trip or ...whatever...So just tell us what to do and... Yes, just tell us what to do
I end my speech in a most stupid and unsophisticated way I can imagine but at least I said something.. unlike my two lovely "friends" who are just standing mute with rather unsophisticated face expressions..probably they are just on alert, able to attack in the very next second as every average male in this ××××ty space..yes, of course, from their limited point of view it is better to shed blood than to talk 'coz such a conversation is high above their intellectaul abilities and that's why I am the one who is at liberty to speak..In this moment I feel that I should cut short this nasty flow of powerful thoughts, just after having made friends with them...maybe it would be better for me to accept that there're certain things, such as gender.., that are impossible to be changed and that actually I'm lucky 'coz if this two meter high creature turned out not to be so amicable alien (lovely, isn't it?) they would be able to protect me...Oh, why must these things be so complicated?

28 April 2005, 02:14 PM
Uhm. Oh. Errr. Yeah. Okay. Uhm. Yea.

On this alien face you see hesitation. Though not usually renowed for their mimic, this Duro's face is literally trembling with laughter... But he holds it off... Takes a deep breath and says:
Okay, Leelaina of the Corleone. Really pleased to meet you. And you know what? Let me tell you what you're going to do...
He leans toward Leelaina confidentionally, poking his bag with a long finger, then whispers:
Listen. I've got here a whole bag of ptka-ptk flowers - ptka-ptk being a great aphrodisiac - so, I've been picking those the entire day, for a freind of mine, a haruspex who's having his daughter married, so he asked me to pick up some of those - you know for the guests, and stuff. And - you know - I - being the picker - usually leave some for my stash, so...

His voice trails off... Then a fit of laughter takes hold of him, erupting like a Sullust volcano. A frightened bird shoots up with the flapping of wings and a miserable cry.
Po, bent from laughter, strikes his thigh once or twice then suddenly straightens up -
Nah. I'd invite you to my place, but - you know - I've got a party tonight... There's going to be this ex-Holovid star, that cute Twi'Lekkian... Yep, I hope she'll be there. So - I'd put you up, but I really can't this time - though I'll take you to my place and we'll see if we can find some sleephole for you in that rotten Mos Vicely. That fine with you?
He pats his hand against Garth's arm, emiting a funny 'click' sound from his mouth.

29 April 2005, 12:18 PM
ok, garth thought to himself, while being patted on the shoulder (if there is one thing that garth truly detests is guys patting others on their shoulders, but let's not make an issue of it), i suppose this is how the rescue crew looks like around here. what was that old saying? beggars can't be -what? 'losers'? never mind... guess we'll just have to go with the flow...
awright, mr bootka, that's very nice of you, y'know, to actually arrive here and all... - garth knew this wasn't maybe the best thing to say at the moment, but he couldn't help it, he sure got a bit irritated with all this waiting, and the guy also turned out not the way garth expected -
...and to help us find a place to sleep, by the way, i hope you have a helluva time tonight, good luck with that twi'lekkian chick... - with every word he had to try harder to suppress his rising anger -
...but we really need to ask you what about our ship. i'm sure you seen it crash down, and you know where it is, so we would be unbelievably happy - he felt he was gonna explode saying this -
if you and the rest of your... uhm...crew... helped us find it and possibly even repair it? how do you think, mr bootka? is that possible?
- he couldn't believe what a jerk they sent to find them. and if all of the spaceport staff are like that? damn, that's a scary thought...

1 May 2005, 01:44 PM
Kuss was a bit confused with the whole situation. He was just standing and watching interactions between a new guy and his companions. He moved only to exchange greetings. Listening to the conversations and observing the Duros carefully he was thinking about what they should do now. It also crossed his mind that the big guy might have some plan and his open and friendly attitude might serve certain purpose. And what if it is not a rescue? Who would send only one guy, even that big, on a lonely journey through the jungle? Besides, why does he not have any means of transportation? Maybe it is some kind of a setup? Maybe it is just a bait for us to swallow and get fu... eee... screwed? 'Lee is quite enthusiastic and all, fortunately Cap seems to be more sensible' thought the Sullustan seeing the firm grip over the Garth's DL-44...'Well, one way or another, we have no other choice but to play along' thought Kuss and started preparing to the trip. Not very bright but knowing the laws of wildernes, he put down the fire and trew away what was left from their meal. He also went back to the pod and took the food rations, and sealed the door to prevent animals from making it a cosy lair. He put on his backpack and stood with the crew's belongings in his hands, ready to depart. 'Ok. Mr. B. Enough talking, we don't want to take too much of your time. Shall we go?' Kuss looked at his companions with anticipation in his eyes and hoping they will not let their guard down because of the optimistic turn in their adventure.

4 May 2005, 12:28 PM
Whoa. Chill. The Duros looked on Garth, probably reconsidering his primary approach. Slian waves off a noisy bug floating over his ear and looks at Garth then again at Bootka.
The deal is this: I've got my airspeeder about one hour walk from here. So - we get to the speeder, I fly to the crash site and shov it to you - I've seen it fall, but don't know exactly vere... Anyways, we'll scoop on the area with sensors and I'm sure we'll find it, okay? Then we'll see what we do next, awright?

Po's gaze expects some kind of acknowledgent from you - if one's face could be a question mark, then his is.
Meanwhile, a distant roar of a primeval predator thunders over the jungle.

Uhm. Yeah. And we'll better hurry - not only toccats are coming out for the hunt.

5 May 2005, 05:25 AM
Hearing this predator's stuff I instsntly make up my mind and decide to follow Po. The fact that he's the only guy who has come to rescue us and that he even doesn't know the crash place of our ship makes me feel a little bit uneasy but maybe that's the way they act on this planet. You know, just easy going, happy-go-lucky, "maniana" attitude towards life and all. Besides there's something funny about his clumsiness, somethin' friendly...Can it be a camuflage? I don't think so...and this whole thing about aphrodisiac..It's rather cute than dangerous..But who knows? I am too tired to analyse all these possible traps and don't want to ponder upon new dangers that can crop up on our way. So I decide just to go...What else can we do? If I were on my home planet that would be a totally different case... Even the struggle with my uncle was easier then...I knew him at least and all his evil was as if tamed..not so difficult to anticipate...When something went wrong, not in line with his ideas and plans, he had just one way of handling things...one or two shots and that's it...sometimes I wonder how does it feel to destroy somebody else's world, to shatter it with cold blood..to kill one's parents, one's beloved...How could he have done this to me? And the most depressing thing was that I could'n do anything...Miss Leelina Corleone, daughter of a grand family, a lady...what a bull××××.. I had nothing and the only thing I've done was stealing this ××××ing space ship...was it so brave? so bold? Just a cowardly act, nothi' else...everyone was dead and so was I supposed to be..dead Leelina..suddenly I did realize that I simply went too far in these morbid memories.. Stop, I said to myself, stop and put yourself together...Easy to say..
Ok, we will go with you and look for our ship. But I hope that the proper rescue team will come here soon and will help us repair the machine. By the way, we're really happy that you've got this party of yours with all that chicks and other stuff.. but to be honest we'd be even more happy, if you simply helped us leave this planet as quickly as possibble 'coz we've got no time to waste.
I was aware of the fact that the tone of my voice was not so pleasant but behaving in this way was my specialty...

5 May 2005, 03:08 PM
Nodding in agreement, Po Bootka readjusts the bag on his arm and taking his machete in his left and a Merr-Sonn Model 434 in his right hand, he begins to lead the way. You follow, sweating, sweating, always dripping sweat.

It's a valk, as I said. We should just make it before it gets dark. Just follow me, keep off the mud pools and stinker plants... the small orange clusters of flovers . He points to a curious looking orange blob. You make what you think are brash looking 'will-do' faces. You go on.

Looking up with hope you try to convince yourselves that indeed you will make it before the sundown. Already the shades begin to condense and wicked looking critters seem to whisper to you from their flowery tombs. Eerie fog begins to ooze from underneath the foliage. As you carefully mediate your way through a boggy passage, irritating laughter errupts from above. Pick'tshu apes. Harmless.

The pace is fast. The Duros this time leads you in quiet. It appears that being engrossed in the task of leading you back to his one and only, the unique and ultimate jungle speeder - Dead Mutton , his way of expressing the uncanny mechanic abilities innate to the race, is what preoccupies him completely. Only an occasional word of caution slips his mouth as he navigates you through the thick jungle.
On one point you stop by a small picturesque waterfall and refresh yourself with a splash or two of colder-than-everything-else-around water. Po and Kuss convene as to which way to go next. Though unfamiliar with the planet, Kuss manages to suggest a path that the Duros accepts as quicker than his was. When Bootka isn't looking, a child's smile appears on Slian's face. Garth gives him a thumbs-up look.

It's dark now, only a little light is left and it is soaking to the ground, while the fog takes over - ephemeric shades dance around you in this world of heat.
You Are nearing the place. The Mutton's camouflaged. It's because of the Vild Children, the gang from the rusting junkyard part of Mos Viceley. They're scrap hunters. Outside the Hand's rule.
Suddenly Po lifts up his machete hand, signalling you to stop. Did you hear? in a tense whisper.

6 May 2005, 02:10 AM
to be honest, with all these dead mosquitoes and swamp flies and tons of sweat covering his face, ears included, garth didn't hear a goddam thing, at least not the thing that Bootka was prob'ly referring to. not that he would ever admit that, though. but their jungle guide's sudden seriousness was enough to see that he's not kiddin'. there was something goin' on before them, something very "shtchisky", as they'd say in the part of Corellia where garth grew up. he wiped his face, as much as he could with his sleeve, and took out the old DL-44, while thinking to himself - dammit, i knew this wasn't going to be that easy, why do i always have to be right about these things, why couldn't we just get to the speeder 5 minutes before some enormous jungle man-eater, or a whole bunch of'em knowing our luck, were comin' this way?... - he was angry and tired as hell. at this moment he was sure that all the forces of the universe were getting united just for the small purpose to kick the asses of the 3 of them. this thought made him even more frustrated and bloody livid! he suddenly felt like blasting somebody's brain into a zillion tiny smoking pieces... yeah, maybe that's what he needed, to relieve his tension, to release all his pissed-off energy in the most old-fashioned way. he held his blaster firmly and smiled involuntarily. bring it on, you ugly sonuvabiatch, whoever you are, you wanna screw with garth? let's see who'll be the first to get screwed here...
- Kuss, get out yer gun and stand here! Lee, stay behind me, girl, this might get nasty! - and saying this, he almost hoped it will get nasty...

12 May 2005, 12:11 PM
And so it got. Taking the central position in this ensemble dedicated to dealing death - at least for the moment - Garth steadied himself for whatever was to come, and nothing - really nothing - was to oust him form it (jungle man-eaters included).
With Kuss on his left and Po on his right he felt it right and just.

Suddenly the situation surprisingly saw Leela and Po simultaneously scream THERE and a finger shot out to pinpoint the

Thing, thudding - thrashing - through the thicket.


It hurls itself like a deadly projectile, landing just short of Garth - though its stench envenoms him, he nearly ousted from that gung-ho attitude.
Lee 19
Po 18
Rest - flat footed (i.e. you do not move until the next round :P )

14 May 2005, 04:28 AM
The jungle... Sun setting down... Hot air... Covered with sweat... Insects feasting upon their bodies... They carved their way though the wilderness... Kuss was holding his eyes on the wide back of the leader- a two meter high ... Cathar?? Well... yes, for a second he could swear he was back with his old crew, on some wild planet, coming back to their ship after an unsuccessful hunt. It could be because of the heat, tiredness, or maybe even those fruits they have eaten before, but for a moment his thoughts took him to a different place... different time... he saw a Freeorin with his huge blaster rifle, a Dashade with one hand clutched upon a shining sword, he knew that a monstrous Togorian was covering their backs, and some other guys were waiting for them with some food on their freighter. Slian had to wear a bandana on his head to prevent sweat from distorting his sight (man, that’s tough... not only was he bald, and nothing was to stop his perspiration on the head, but also his eyes were so big, that seemed to attract every drop of sweat)... Suddenly Cathar stopped, lifted his hand and whispered did you hear?, just a second later Kuss heard Freeorin saying -Kuss, get out yer gun and stand here! Lee, stay behind me, girl, this might get nasty!-... Strange thoughts came to Sullustan’s mind What?? Lee?? Girl?? “Yer”??... But there is no Lee in the crew, and definitely no girl... and most of all, why does Greel talk like a redneck?? Damn!! Daydreaming again!! Fxxx that!! What’s goin’ on?! ... Suddenly Cathar’s face was once again big, grey, and bald, and the Freeorin looked the most Garth-like anyone could ever look, instead of a two and a half meter tall beast-man covering their backs, there was a beautiful girl taking cover behind their backs. He knew that is not good. Assuming that Slian was able to think fast it was just in moments like that, that he did. When fight was about to start and in the eye of the cyclone thousands of different ideas were rushing through his small (well, maybe small is not the most fortunate adjective in his case) head. Someone or something is waiting for us. Animal, or maybe scavengers?? If animal, than one or maybe in a group?? Thick jungle, so probably alone, it’s no good to hunt in packs when there is no place to run around. So a single but big one (smaller would never attack such a group), or two, maybe three smaller at best. But if its people, there will be a whole pack of them. Open fight is useless, they would have superior positions. Ok. If it’s one animal we should spread... I’ll try to take it from behind with my spear... If it’s a few smaller ones, we should stay together and try to get them before they come closer... its three guns but eight hands... firepower will matter... Lee can get my blaster, or Garth can smite the bustards with double fire... I’ll get their attention and distract them... similar when its rogues, but then I’ll go for cover and try to take them one after another while Garth snipes their asses... let them come...HUNT!! Now there was no sign of his previous visions, a total adrenaline rush took their place. His every muscle was tense and ready to launch the small guy in the air... or at least at the nearest bush... In that moment there came that ominous “THERE” and “the thing” jumped out of the darkness... Damn!! Didn’t expect that!! I’m late again!! Won’t I ever learn?!” ... Lee! Grab it and fry the bastard!!... Kuss extended his gun-holding hand towards the lady in a desperate manner... he saw the fire in Garh’s eyes, he knew it will get nasty... he also knew that should react faster...

16 May 2005, 10:21 AM
Lee, Po - being a nice fella - is waiting for you to 'do' your move :raised:
Joe King ;)

17 May 2005, 12:11 PM
Jesus, what am I supposed to do?! I feel panic and sudden fit of abomination. Should I take this blaster, aim at this THING and a couple of seconds later see its guts, brain (supposing that the thing has got any) and other bits and pieces all over the place? No, sorry but it's too much for me and killing is not my coup of tea...I just leave this primeval instinct to my fellas who certainly will be pleased with the opportunity to show off...(and, by the way, save our lives) That's why, with this "peacemaker" attitude I throw the blaster back to kuss yelling
Kuss, you do this dirty stuff, I just can't!!
And after these lovely confession, instead of fighting, I jump into the air (it's matrix like jump I guess:) )and land behind the tree, where I hide and, short of breath as well as full of remorse, I just peer stealthily through the leaves at my heroic, strong and manly ( I'm not sure if manly can relate to kuss, so maybe kussly:) ) fighters...

17 May 2005, 01:46 PM
And so Leelaina hops strangely, in mid-flight throwing back the bulky Blastech toy at Kuss - who, luckily, notices it and grabs it by twisting his hand, catching the gun by its butt - while it nearly slips from his sweaty fingers.
Chop, chop, you man-eating thing, you! - screams Bootka, rushing forward, splashing water from underfeet and taking a nice, clean slash with his machete at the thing - which dwarfs him by over half a metre - - -
- - unfortunately, the odiously green-brown thing with what appears to be thick, rubbery, porous skin sways back a little, in Kuss' direction, sitting on its two right feet and jerks its ugly face to Po - rising a long, mucus-dripping, tentacle in a snake-like fluid motion, ready to swing back at Po - -

What a curious thing, thinks Garth, as he looks at the swirling ray of light that just got reflected in a single drop of water falling from the thing's skin - - - what beauty of those dispersed photons of light - -
contrasted with the pestilent miasma of this rampant beast.
(OOC) Turn 2: initiative check.
Leela & Garth 19
Po 18
Thing 15
Slian 8

21 May 2005, 01:53 AM
...but he quickly snapped out of admiring the beauty of photons and came back to reality. in the corner of his eye garth saw Leela taking cover behind the tree. to his right, mr Bootka was trying to hurt the thing with his shiny machete, nice but not necessarily the best choice of weapon against this slimebag. and as for the slimebag, drooling hideously right in front of him... garth's actions were swift and firm. he swinged his body back, to get out of reach of the man-eater's claws and who knows what else it used to attack people, at the same time lifting his heavy metal bastard, and pulled the trigger, aiming moreless where the monster should have some kind of a chest... eat this, you failure of nature!!!

30 May 2005, 03:16 AM
Hidinng behind the tree, safe and sound I can put my thoughts together at last...Ok, so what now? It's just great... I've shown my cowardice, lack of willingness to fight and to help my friends. Why can I think only about myself in such situations? What's even worse, in the peak of my stupidity I got rid of my only weapon..Feeling this getting down mood suddenly I decide to act,regardless of how strange and inefficient my action may turn out to be..So, as stealthily as possible I crawl towards the tree that is behind the thing's back.. Through the thick leaves I can see Garth and Kuss fighting in such a mess that it's difficult to distinguish between their bodies, plants and whatever there might be..In the meantime I come up with the idea that's just gorgeous...I simply decide to attack the thing with..a BRANCH! Isn't it smart and clever? Jesus, I'm really depressed with my survival abilities (or rather lack of them..) And in my mind's eye I can already see Garth's and Kuss' facial expressions after my outstanding feat..But what else can I do at this ××××ty moment?Ok, that's enough I say to myself, Lee, you must get down to business,no matter how fishy the business is... And thus, after finding an appropriate branch (sort of killing branch I would say:) )
I come out from behind the tree, tip toe towards the creature, aim at it's nape and hit...

30 May 2005, 12:02 PM
Po seeing Garth ready to blast the bantha out of this hideous abomination, tries to get it's attention by pushing a tentacle out of his with the slicer he's got in his hand - -
- - Just as Garth throws himself back in a real desperado-esque manner, seemingly suspended in the air as he flies back, out of the reach of these madly swinging tentacles - suspended in the blink of the eye just before pulling the glistening DL's trigger - -
Just like back there with Zapp. Zapp Brannigan. The Wormplants of C'boallum. The 44's crescendo of blasts.
- - ZAP! said the gun in its lovely voice, belching forth a super-heated laser bolt which traveled quickly to the heart of the problem, sinking in the ugly body like a meticulous assasins' blade... From the wound came the deep brown blood, sprinkling the foliage under its feet and Po's cheek with the vile fluid - and with the blood came a vulgar roar in the sound of which the thud of Garth's fall sunk.
A malicious smile sprung on Algar's face, seeing the thing hurt - as he rolled to the side to rise, trying to keep low enough to avoid the swinging tentacles.
Meanwhile, Po, exploiting the situation - with the monster raising its tentacles to cover the wound - makes yet another daring slash - only to have his blade scratch the monster's bony leg as it kicks wildly and to duck abruptly under its whooshing tentacle - but to late. The Duros, whacked by the solid-hard slab of living meat, flies back a couple of metres, landing softly in the leafs.
It appears, that though hit, the monster isn't that much hurt - only more enraged.

Leelaina, after concieving a plan not the one to abandon it, rushes to the position behind the combatants - realising that it would take ages to silently creep behind the thing. Luckily enough, it seems that it didn't take any notice.
And then she looks at Po flying back - landing on the leaves - takes a look and the branch she's holding and doesn't know what to think of it.

(OOC) Slian, take the floor!

31 May 2005, 05:21 PM
Guns blazing, people jumping, tentacles flying over their heads, and... Kuss crouching in the middle of the battle, watching the scene, sensing it with every part of his body, preparing to take advantage of any mistake of the beast. He knew it would be useless for him to assault the creature without any plan.Think it's high time for me to do something. That Po guy is not bad... for Duros, and thankfully Garth knows his game... that was hell of a shot... and now we have hell of a hole in this bastard... Whoa! He saw how Leelaina was sneaking behind the monster with some stick... he was affraid even to think of her intentions, but he knew, he had to act now, now, that Po was out and Garth was too close to the enemy. We have no chance at this distance. Po is down, Lee is desperate, and we can't loose Garth. How can I distract this thing from him? Probably can't, blaster will make it even more frustrated, and will still attack TH... so why not get closer?? This thought poisoned his mind like Kashyyk'ian snake's venom. He knew what to do, he knew he could do it, he knew this might work, he knew it was madness, what he seemed to forget, was that failure could mean his death... but he was never too bright, was he? O.K. you fuxxen retard!! You don't pay any attention to little Kuss, ha?? Big mistake you fxxk-face!! I must use the fact that it is so close and focused on Garth, maybe it won't notice me, and if it does, maybe it will be too slow to react... doesn't matter now... DIE!! Kuss sprang, as if proppeled with some jet engine, towards the beast. He jumped at the wound carved by Garth's blaster. It was big enough to put a hand in... and why not a blaster?? Hard skin eh? And how hard are your guts ha?? If I get close enough you will be in for a stomachache asshole!! With a knife in one hand and his blaster at the other, he was ready to "anchor" himself with the blade under the beast, immerse his gun into the torn, bleeding tissue and pull the trigger. Only in the middle of the jump did he think: Hope the wound is not skin-deep... hope there is no bone under... and what if?? DAMN!! Bedzie siara!! He thought in his native language :D

1 June 2005, 10:43 AM
Taking only a split-second to think about all of this, Kuss unleashes his fury.
In a quick jump he finds himself flying in the beast's direction - but realising that he won't be able to catch the beast, he lets go of the knife, deciding to catch it with a bare hand. And so he - BARELY! - manages to grab the Thing, holding on to it's mucus-covered protruding facial horns, dangling for a second in the air, as the beast realises the new threat - fitghting to hold on - ducking his head in time to save it from being whacked off - a pulling back his blaster hand, avoiding it being struck out of his hand -
All of this for the brief, brief moment when the muzzle found itself near the wound. Flashed. - and - blood - spurting - beast - raging - howling - tentacle - swinging - holding - squeezing -

The sound of breaking bones - and Kuss' moan as his life is nearly squished out of him -
Poor, poor Kuss - such a frail little creature in the tetacles of an angry beast, thought Leelaina, seeing the blaster fall out of his hand.

OOC: Brave, but foolish, my friend. Worthy of recognition in our memories, Slian.
Turn 3. Initiative:
Leelaina Corleone 21 (ready, willing, and - almost - able)
Po Bootka 11 (a little stunned)
Garth Algar 10 (in a true Max-Paynesque manner, lying on his back with the gun pointed somewhere at Kuss' buttocks [or the whereabouts of them])
Slian Enin 10 (more-than-nigh-dead-but-holding-on)
Thing Thing (nigh-dead) 5

3 June 2005, 07:59 AM
Jesus, what am I doing with this miserable branch in my hands? Sometimes I just dunno how on Earth I managed to survive in this fatal universe, being so awkward all the time..Ok, that's enough of this hiding, creeping and pretending that I'm doing something useful...Now it IS TIME TO DO SOMETHING USEFUL!! (am I shouting to myself or is it just another great delusion of my maltreated mind.., ok Lee, just forget it..) So in a desperate moment, seeing poor Kuss in the bloody tentacles of this angry beast, I drop the branch, jump towards this fighting bundle and grab the abandoned blaster... Ok, Lee, now you have to use it, you just have to shoot and that's all, it's easy...remember your uncle? smile on his face, gun in his hands and heaps of dead corpses all around...? Oh my godness, it's not a time for an internal monologue! In this very moment, being so close to this core of violence, blood and pain, as if contaminated with an almost unconscious desire to kill, I try to aim at the beast, but cannot see anything in this moving, dusty mess...Lee, just shoot for God's sake!!! And thus, not quite aware of my own actions, in a feat of true hatered and desperation, with an unbearable racket in my ears and speedy heart beating, I pull the trigger and empty the blaster in the beast's direction...

6 June 2005, 11:34 AM
Thus she overcomes her fear - though eyes wide with it - and seeing that Kuss' limp body slides out of one of the two tentacles this monstrosity possesses - watching it fall by its quarduple legs - breaks the barrier, the incapacitating sensation of terror, nears the spawn of the jungle -
The gun
The hand

- - but Slian's blood - -

Hold it, girl - blast that space-fubb into -
ZAPp!! A blot flew skyward, scalding the skin on the assailants back - while Lee fell down, perhaps amazed at the sheer force and brutality of the blast, legs waving in air -
Good - because the ever-vigilant beast swung a tentacle immediately, its odious bulk brushing Lee's hair - It turned, swinging its bulky body back to bash Lee into the wet foliage rising its big, fat lump of serpentine tentacle -
ZHAMmm!! Spoke the DeathHammer in Po's hand as he rose to his feet just at the right moment - the Thing swaying, swaying, nearly out of breath - bleeding heavily -
This roar is your last cry - for - now - you - DIE!!! - thought Garth with a smile when he saw that Kuss no longer blocks his line of fire.

6 June 2005, 04:34 PM
Silence... Darkness... But there is something... Deep in the darkness there is a shadow... This pitch-black spot is coming closer... with no sound... tearing through the darkness... It’s close to the surface... Someone’s face... Reflection in the water... Distorted by small waves... Silence... SPLASH!! Water explodes... Terrifying noise, silence shredded into hundreds of small shards hurting the body... Masses of big water drops fly around changing colours from dark blue to bloody red... Falling on the board and breaking into smaller droplets.... Fight... Rage... Survival... Hunt!!... Tentacles... A guy grabbed and lifted in the air... Shrieks in his head... Crushing bones, ripping tendon, cracking skull... Blood gushing from eyes and every tear in flesh... Scream... Eyes wide open... Pain... The body torn into parts... Darkness... The darkness is red... The red swirls and towers around the ship... The great squid-like body appears above the surface and hides under the red... The crew catches the monster... The unconscious guy held by the tentacle like a rug doll... hands bound closely to the body in a crushing grip... Legs hang loosely... Eyes closed... A thorn inside the beast... A harpoon... Lines... Darts... Blaster shots... SPLASH!!... The guy falls into water... The tentacle falls into water... SPLASH!! ... Drowning... Water covers mouth, nose, eyes... Numbness... Indifference... Swirl draws the guy deeper... Thousands of bubbles... His face... Big, dark eyes... The Sullustan... Falling... Huge hand... The Sullustan elevated in the air... Thrown onto the boat... A bed... A spaceship corridor... Aside the surgery table stands a man... Tattoos... Medic... Arkanian... Everything green... Blurred... Floating... Small bubbles... A glass container... Darker... Darker... Darkness... Silence... Single, distant voices... Fading quickly... “Take him to bac...” ... “Prepare the squid to tran...” ... “They want it alive, tie it up and ...” ... “You’ll be ok. litt...” ... “Damn greenhorn, what was he thin...” ... “Good job guys...” ... Darkness... Silence... Silence... FLASH!! Blinding light! Noise! Red! Pain! Trees! Beast! Tentacle! Muscles Contract! Convulsion! Shot! Fall... Pain... Grass... Numbness... Darkness... Silence... Silence... Silence...

11 June 2005, 03:56 AM
garth didn't hurry. the moment he saw what Lee's Improved Power Blast did to the man-eater's skin and everything immediately beneath he was stable and cool again. that seemed to settle it and damn, it was a hell of a shot too. who'd've thought the gal's able to do such a mess? must be his influence, no doubt, being close to old garth sure serves her good...
mr Bootka's hammer seemed to solve the situation. all that was needed was the ending chord, the final word, the full-stop at the end of the sentence. garth was more than happy to be the one to put this full-stop.
he walked towards the beast, stood over its hideous body shaking in painful spasmatic convulsions, hopefully very painful. he saw the fear and pain in the things ugly eyes, smeared with its own blood, listened to the rapid heartbeat and breath of the creature who dared to mess with garth algar and his friends (he didn't even notice that he called them "friends" in his thoughts). he didn't say a word, just stood there, looking deeply in the beast's eyes. he wanted to make sure he'd be the very last thing the beast sees before it dies...
after a few seconds that must have felt like hours for the creature garth lifted his blaster and aimed it right between the awful eyes
BANG!!! - the eyes blacked out, the back of the head released its content on the green grass of Darlyn Boda
BANG!!! - one more time, just as cpt. Zapp taught to, you never can be too sure...

he hid the blaster where it belonged ( :D ) and rushed towards his mid-sized fist mate, hoping there is still something to rush to.
- Kuss! dude, ya hear me? Lee! ya awright? come on, girl, help me with Kuss, looks he got it really bad. oh, and by the way, nice work, girl, i mean it, really nice, i wouldn't do it better myself - the unmistakable "i'm-the-man-and-you-know-it" grin returned to garth's face, but this time there seemed to be something more in it... it didn't feel sarcastic at all, as if garth was really being appreciative of Lee for once... possible? hmmmm...
- mr Bootka, our buddy's really hurt, looks serious too. could ya just go and fetch yer speeder over here? i don't think Kuss feels like going any further right now, y'know? and hurry up, we gotta take him to a medical quickly, you must have medical facilities around here, right? - the funny thing is that while saying this garth wasn't just playing the bomba-general again. he actually felt responsible for Kuss, as a crew member, as a teammate, maybe even as a friend... yep, nothing gets people together better than collectively slaying some man-eating sonuvabiatch on some god-forgotten turdhole like this.

14 June 2005, 05:32 AM
The ugly mass of meat is still moving slightly, despite the coup the grace, though its movements lost the unnerving fluidity - became spasmic, abrupt, uncontrolled -

Back to reality. Though the hearts still batter your chests like trapped, crazed birds, the adrenaline rush begins to pass. You look around - notice surroundings - whew. A deep breath - even a deep breath of such a rotten hot and humid air like this - makes you instantaneously fell better.
The limp ragdoll that is Kuss opens its eyes a little - you hear something spoken in his native language (what Garth interprets as "a hell of an instant-volcano-eruption-that-engulfs-entire-cities-in-its-wake, wasn't it?"). Albeit Algar is smiling in his habitual way, there are little shadows of concern in his eyes - he turns his head to approaching Lee, looks at her - Lee expresses her gratitude to Garth's words by a nod, smiling mysteriously. Perhaps if the occasion was better suited, she'd show some more gratitude. And then Po.
Oh, my. Oh. My. My, oh, my. You - you - you - we actually kill dit? Oh, my. Hovs the little one? Let me - as he leans over the Sullustan's body, taking it together with Garth. You also gather your bags - you dropped them when the fray began.
Well, it's not that bad. Kuss seems to regain consciousness. He is wounded, weak, right, but he'll walk and -
It's not a long walk from here. It should be somewhere over here. We must move. Let's go. It's near. We'll be there just in a jiffy. Come on. Oh, my. Go, go, go.
He takes his commlink from his belt, dials someone (or something) - with Kuss being carried between Garth and Po, from time to time limping a few steps, or being held up in the air, just grunting when the pressure hurts his ribcage - Leelaina pacing just behind the guys, still holding the picked up gun.
So, Po gets a response over the comm - a little of radio static, followed by what appears to be ... barking sounds? You prefer not to ask at the moment. In fact, you notice that this time Po is really rushing - perhaps even hurting Slian with this pace. The barking stops.
Obi? Obi! I need you to get the engines running. Screv the cammo. Obi, get ready to go the second ve're on board. Obi, you hear me? A bark that you take to be a 'yes'. In these circumstances - all this rushing - you want it to be a 'yes'.
What got Po so jumpy?

[EDIT: My bad. I've cut the recurring part.]

20 June 2005, 10:15 AM
The narrator's question is instantly answered, as some sound erupts behind you - a sound that would be very much in place should this planet crack in two - in it you hear pain, anger, despair, hate, loss and bloodthirst; just the sound an angry titan would make. In this case
Sheet. *gasp* The pick'saahrz mother. *gasp* Just * the * uh uh* thing * I was * afraid * ov!

Indeed, you look back through the mist and the shadow and there you see but a shape - very large, no - abso - bantha - lutely huge. It's wailing over the body of its slain child.
And you know that there is no stoping to the anger of a hurt mother. Nowhere, regardless of the species.
You run.

It * vill ** uh * catch us! *gasp* Ve need to * distrak tit * somehow! Po looks around his shoulder, eyes wide with terror. His gaze falls on Leelaina - and Garth notices it. The run feels like a wildride through sarlacc's guts for Slian.
It's been a hectic day, but it seems that you have to win one more battle to tell the tale. Do it!

21 June 2005, 01:57 AM
Gosh! Isn't it too much?! What a day, with a second, or maybe two, when I could breathe and even smile mysteriopusly coz the danger was gone..Sometimes I wonder whether my life consists onlly in such narrow escapes, running, stealing and dead corpses from time to time..I'm fed up... I feel that I cannot run and I'm moving only coz of my will makes me do it, not my body...I hear this beast roaring (beast in the jungle to be more precise:) and the only thing I know is that if we don't find our ship or whatever that would do as a shelter, we're done... Fight seems to be impossible...I'm on my last legs and there're moments when I fell like passing out...and I know I would't be able to grab a blaster and keep it in my hands, let alone performing any action with it. In the corner of my eyes I see Kuss, who's the embodiment of suffering in this moment...so the only people, I mean creatures, able to get rid of this monster are Po and Garth and I really dunno if they manage...Jesus, I don't want to think about it now, I want it to be over..I feel more and more dizzy..What are we doing? where are we running? How is itl going to end? I try not to close my eyes and run, run, run...Oh, why it must be so difficult... Lee, put yourself together, you musn't faint..you musn't let down your friends...think about Kuss, how can he feel...maybe he's dying and you're still alive so you're the one to help...the sky's almost invisible through the trees and thick leaves...looking up high's like gazing through the window of a speeding train or a space ship...everything becomes blurred and out of focus...no, I'm not the one to help, I'm the one to be helped...maybe that's the end...how am I going to die..? torn into pieces by this bloody, revenge-seeking-monster?no Lee, you musn't faint, you musn't faint...whose voice is this? my own? Garth's maybe..? In this half-conscious state of mind I turn towards Garth and try to reach his arm coz I don't want to lose balance, but I cannot... I cannot run any more..stop. standing still... heartbeating louder than the whole jungle and even beast's roaring...
I'm sorry guys but that's the end...I won't go further I just can't ...leave me here as I am ...I'm just not so strong as you are ..I dont' want to pretend anything...I just can't, i juat can't anymore...but you run...just run...
As I lean faintly on the bark of the tree, I can hear my trembling voice and feel some tears coming into my eyes...am i cowardly? yes, I am and they see it, Garth sees it...but now it doesn't matter, it just doesn't matter...I'll simply sit here, motionless and meaningless, and wait for my beast to come...

21 June 2005, 09:59 AM
Miss! You just hide there * Ugh * Ve be back * Hi dand distrak tit * We be ba *gasp* ck * His free hand catches the comlink, he calls again - Lee watches the trio as they move away, hears Po's shouting - Obi! Start * Yes, you * can! * Get * the bearing * from the * sensors * and *gasp* go!

It's really haul, but you HAVE to get the job done. It's like playing the live bait back then with Uncle's shady business.
The monster is coming.
Your grip on the Blastech gun tightens.

22 June 2005, 11:47 AM
no! no! no! this is wrong! this is so big-fat wrong! garth algar, the tough one, the heroic one, the one never losing his nerve, the corellian desperado, the bravo man, the one to admire and follow in the battlefield, the natural born action-man, is what... running? fleeing? saving his own ass like some lousy coward? and what's worse, one to never hide behind no-one's back, is now just leaving one of his crew behind? alone? helpless at the mercy of a giant man-eater's mother? not to mention... leaving a GIRL behind? a weak skinny little female?leaving her behind? while he just runs away? not looking back at... Leelaina, technically his boss, practically friend... no! no! no!!! that's revolting!!! never ever turn yer back on a friend, that's the thing that both his Pa and cpt.Zapp taught garth, the only thing they agreed upon. and now what? how would they feel seeing him now? no, no, no, can't be! garth felt so ashamed and disgusted with himself for even letting the thought of running away and leaving Lee here cross his mind. dammit! goddammit! now he was double-pissed - with the monster, and with himself.
- you take Kuss to the speeder and come back for us! - he shouted to mr. Bootka, already leaving him with the numb Sullustan and rushing back towards Leela -
- coz i'm not leaving Lee alone here!!! and hurry up, will ya!!! - garth didn't exactly intend to be impolite but the situation called for haste, not for courtesy.
running back fast like a madman and simultaneously taking out his blaster he assessed the distances. the monster's far too close to Lee, gotta move him away from her. but some more persuasive force could come in handy first.
- Lee! it's me! throw me yer gun, quick! - he knew the blaster would not be of much use to her now, not when she's so worn out. but to him it might make a difference. he caught the blaster thrown by Lee with his left hand, and for a second there, just for a second, he looked at himself with his mind's eyes... standing there, in the middle of a jungle, covered with mud and blood, with a really angry expression on his unshaven face, clutching a heavy blaster in each hand, staring straight at a horrible beast at least twice his size... looking like a veritable man-of-war he felt so unbelievably alive and in his right place.
- don't worry, girl! you just don't move, and stay were you are, hidden! i won't let you get hurt, i promise! - with the sound of the last words not yet faded he fired the first series at the monster's belly. just to piss him off, just to draw his attention, just to make him concentrate on him and not on Lee... not on Lee...
he started running and shooting at the same time, in the direction exactly opposite to Lee's hideout. dragging the beast behind him, making sure it's furious enough to follow him and forget about Lee...
that's the plan for now, what's he gonna do later he didn't yet know, but he didn't care.. not yet.

25 June 2005, 12:22 AM
“Running, always running... running to get something to eat, running not to get eaten, running to hunt a beast, running not to get hunted by the little f**k’s mommy... F**k, I hope it is a mommy and not an elder brother...” Kuss would be very annoyed by the situation if only he had enough energy to support any amount of annoyance. At least now his running was greatly supported by his mates, who were in a slightly better condition. “Man, I feel like a rug doll... a small cute rug doll... Wouldn’t it be nice to produce such toys?? Yea, I would manage the production, and Garth would take care of distribution, he knows how to persuade a potential client, ooh, and Lee would be our Public Relations specialist. And we would produce a small, Sullustan-guy, plush toys. And it would have a knife in its hand... and a blaster in the other... and maybe it could fire this small, cute gun... and maybe it could be a bit bigger than small... and a small Garth action figure... Why are we running? Hey, where is everybody? Hello, guys! Oh, what a nice light, and warm too... worm... earth-worm... I wonder whether the earth-worm living on Corelia is also called Earth-worm...” You don’t have to be a medic to see that his little guy is a bit tired... he moved not to reach a safe place, but this tiny warm light he saw at the end of a tunnel, and it was by a simple coincident that it was in the direction of the place Po hid his vehicle. When they stopped for a second when Lee lost the last drop of motivation, he snapped out of his numbness a bit. He looked around, took a glance of the beast, and Garth trying to distract its attention. The only thought that came into his mind was to help his friends, but what could he do? “Hey, why not throw the small Sullustan guy at the beast, it might work... eee... wait a sec, no, no, stupid idea, bad Kuss, bad, bad, bad!! ”

1 July 2005, 10:11 AM
Though your fates are intertwined in this cosmic mess, the party undergoes the process of dissolution.
The unity of action dissociates - Split!

Witness Lee in her little damp hole in the ground, trembling. Some roar is heard. And thumping. Then the sizzling sound of blaster fire. Garth screams, somewhere in the jungle, tackling the beast all by himself, all alone with its primeval fury.
What will be the final sound? Who will prevail? Man or beast?

Now Garth. He's become the impossible. The two of them - a struggle, male versus fully furious female. Beaten up. Blasted. Running. - -
A game of hide and seek, only you don't get a candy at the end. Nor can you shout "broken pots!". No charmed cutlery here to get you out of this nightmare. - -
Get to the tree. Back against it. Now, lean to the right - two shots - okay. Now what? It roars. Again, fire!
Must have hit it - the thought synchronised with a sound of something cutting through air; a loud crash follows - the concussion sends Garth on his knees -
Rolls. Rolls again, avoiding its stomp (funny, you do such things like the flick of the eye - must be all those times you rolled out from under something that wanted to squish you and it got into your blood). Gets up quickly, diving under the beast's legs - Now, the tree is cracking! With the tree between you and the pick'sahhr you might yet have a chance!
Garth! What will he do in such a perilous situation?

Kuss. Poor Kuss. Dragged and bedraggled. Broken, bruised, sore. Plus, Po isn't a Wook to carry K' around like a bag of meat - he's also dead tired. He again signals his mysterious sidekick with the commlink - just in time for Slian to see a ship emerging out of nowhere from above, landing in front of them, engines nearly silent- only whirring a little- and the promising invitation in the form of an open entrance hatch entices them to enter. The two board the vehicle.

15 July 2005, 03:03 AM
ok, maybe that would be crazy in the normal situation but under these circumstances... garth saw the chance in the tree, with its trunk slowly cracking close to its base, threatening to fall down in any moment and in any direction. how about making it fall in the most appropriate second, and in the very specific direction, chosen by garth?
the decision was quicker than the thought. while still between its legs, he fired right in the beast's belly, hopefully to immoboilize it with pain for three more seconds. that's all he needed.
half a second after the shots garth was already dashing towards the tree leaving the howling monstah a few meters behind.
a second and a half later he was already scalding the tree's bark with his double-blaster fire, praying this'd be enough to cut through the trunk and send the heavy timber down on the beast's head. he knew his physics well enough to be quite sure which side of the trunk to undercut, or at least he hoped so. man, that's be so totally UN-cool if the tree fell down in the opposite direction, wouldn't it? well, let's just all hope heavens side with our hero on this one.
when, two and a half second later, the small cracks merged into one ripping sound, and the trunk of the tree started moving menacingly, he stopped the fire. he glanced behind him only to see the beast heading again towards him. without thinking he jumped out of where he calculated to be the meeting point of the tree and the monster's head. but with only the last half second remaining, will he make it? or are we all witnessing the day garth algar made his last mistake?

15 July 2005, 08:20 AM
These things happen only on holoflicks - not today, however!
Three events come together in one split second.
The beast lurches forward.
Garth jumps to the side.
The tree comes down.
Then, like a nail driven deep into a piece of apohr wood with a vibrohammer, the monster is dazed by the hit - which comes with an ugly sound of flesh being mauled - and is brought to the ground level.
Alas! Having saved his left foot from being crushed by only milimetres, Garth cannot use the moment to make a run for it - he is still held by a wiggling tentacle.
And time is sparse - half a minute at most!

Meanwhile, aboard the Dead Mutton, Po and Slian make their way toward the cockpit through what appears to be a corridor with walls made from circuitry. Po enters the cockpit, immediately slouching himself in the pilot's seat and taking the controls - and the speeder nimbly jumps up and rolls - springing into the air very much like a Sullustani ash angel would... As Kuss inserts his head into the cockpit he startles back as a R4 unit suddenly whirrs its servo-motors and barks at the wounded being. Easy, Obi, he's a friend! And you sit here - you're be our gunner, now! The droid calms down, though he still dogs Slians movements to the little cavity situated between pilot's and co-pilot's controls - what turns out to be a small blaster turret.
With the jungle brushing the underbelly of the vehicle, you advance toward where you suppose your friends are - Ve have to fin dem, somehow

And finding the rest of the guys is Leelaina's sole concern now! Taking out a leaf out of her red hair, she stands listening... There is something - blaster fire! She must find the guys, she thinks, laying her hand on the shockwhip hanging by her belt!

15 July 2005, 03:05 PM
“Geez cpt.Po, I sure hope this thingy here has hell of a punch, cause we ain’ gonna fry the bastich if it frags as bad as it looks!!” Kuss was feeling a bit better, and definitely good enough to notice that the beast was too big, too thick-skinned, and too mean to be killed with anything that fits this speeder. “Or maybe I just overestimate the true size of the beast? Maybe I underestimate the size of Po’s cannon? Nope, don’t think so... This f**k was abso-fu**in-lutely huge damn it!! I hope Garth is holding up cause we need to get out of here fast!!” These thoughts gave our little guy some idea. Like always, it was quite mad, but could work if they were lucky. The Sullustan checked whether his backpack was still at its place, and why should it be anywhere else? Even if he wanted to take it off this was the first moment he actually had time to do so, and he used it wisely. After throwing it on the ground he quickly took out a roll of a line, and while tying two loops, one on each end, he shared his thoughts with the Duros: “Hey cap!! I’ll shoot the bastard to draw its attention, so prepare to have it on your tail!! When I shout just try to get as close to one of ours to let me grab him... or her... and move on to distract the fu**er from the other one, when we have one on board it should be easy to get the other!! I just hope you know how to handle this baby, cause It’s gonna be a rough ride!!” Not waiting for any response Kuss dashed towards the entrance, hoping for Po to have got the idea... and approve of it... there was just no time to ask him for his opinion... Kuss glanced through the corridor searching for a suitable place to attach the line, he wasn’t too picky about it so he used a thick bundle of cords, wires, and other stuff running along walls. After making the line look like two “harnesses” attached to a wall (one for him to safely grab his mates and one to secure them, because he wasn’t strong enough to fully trust his grip) he rushed back to the gun... right on time, cause the fun was just about to get started...

20 July 2005, 03:15 PM
And once again I'm confused..and once again I dunno what to do and once again it takes me ages to come up with some idea and I don't mean a good idea but at least some idea.. my mates are trying to save our lives, they fight or seek other possibilities of rescue and I'm stuck in this ××××ty hole, hiding and, from time to time, taking leaves out from my hair.. that's just amazig how efficient I might become when the question of life and death comes upon me and lingers mercilessly over my shattered head. So should I find Garth and join him in this unequal combat or rather try to find the speeder with poor Kuss and Po on the board? Jesus, I even don't know whether they got there..and it's impossible to find them in this veritable motley of trees, bushes and all sorts of stinky creepers..that's why, firmly holding my shockwhip, I decide to find Garth and help him with the beast if it's not too late...Jesus, I hope it's not too late...How could I have been so selfish to hide and let him fight for me, let alone giving up Po dragging poor Kuss to the speeder...But hey, Lee, there's no time for such deep analysis of behavioural side of your personality, it's the high time you got down to business...so, in this giddy bewilderment I choose the direction and run towards the strange sounds of possible fight....and suddenly what I can see is my dear friend (wait a minute, have I used the word "dear"? well, it's really getting odd...) trying to free himself from the fierce tentacle of hideously maimed monster...so, without any second thoughts, as if forgetting about all the fear, resignation and tiredness, I get as close as possible to the monster, aim at its repulsive tentacle, which holds Garth, and try to paralyse it with my shockwhip...and at the same time, in my soul's eyes I can see Garth's disappointment with the fact that I've come to help him at last and not vice versa...maybe I'm destroying his newly regained pride, yet his life is more important and valuable for me than his macho image and I hope that so it is for him...

8 September 2005, 04:52 AM
Garth, held tight by the beast, strives to free himself- yet to no avail. To make matters worse, the blaster's power pack is depleted. He bangs the tentacle once or twice with the stock of the Blastech baby, while quickly looking through his vest pockets and the utility belt. Being now all soaked with the water on the ground, and his sweat, and caked with mud, blood and whatnot, he discards the empty powerpack - not even having heart enough to admire the way the gun does its usuall 'click' sound- and grining like an evil madman tries to roll himself to the side, to get to the spare powerpacks he just remembered are there, on the back of his belt.
And just as he managed to wriggle himself to the side - lo and behold! - there came Leelaina to his rescue, brandishing a shockwhip, her signature weapon.
Getting as close to the trapped monster as one would dare to, she aims a short, sharp smack down at the restraining tentacle - voila! comes the whips' crack, anouncing Garth's freedom.
He gets up quickly, without being helped. The second thing he does, he brings the things back in line by sliding the new powerpack in the balster's handle, re-establishing his claim to brave the hostile surroundings through the power of his blaster.
- No time to lose, princess. Let's beat it!

Meanwhile Kuss hears Po hollering his name and promptly - as much as his condition allows for it - gets back into the cockpit.
Listen, I don't find dem! Ve can't drop in the jungle if ve don't know vere they be. There's too much plant life to locate dem in dis mess, mate. Ve can't look for them blindly. Their bodies are too small to findem in dis mess, you hear?
Po lays the craft in a turn, circling around the jungle, playing with the switches on the sensors, trying to tune in to fine-grain search, but coming up with nothing.

29 January 2006, 07:51 AM
... ehm ... well ... yea ... aaa ... yes ...
For a moment Kuss lost his conciousness, he was as if not there (this moment felt like ages... months to be precise)... But now he has awaken and came back to his senses... Back in game, he was still attached to the ship's veins and waiting for Po to find his friends...

29 January 2006, 10:44 AM
The beast was big, the beast was mad - it had all the capacity to destroy man, so the hero ran and ran. Both of them ran - a man and a woman, pitted against the jungle itself... What was there - what way out?
Must... get.. out... - the thought seemed to reverbate and echo in Garth's mind, amazingly powerful, overbearing.

Suddenly, Slian is slightly thrown off balance, as Po heads the speeder in an almost straight dive at the ground - altogether an insane and a very abrupt manouevre. It was as if for a second, the ship was driven by hands other than Po's.
The results were to prove even more interesting.
The speeder swung violently, turning an elegant 180 degrees in place, once it had pierced the upper layers of the jungle and...
The Sullustan never did get a chance to wonder long what made the Duros scream so loud. All he needed to do was to look up from the gun controls.
On a small clearing - a small area free of trees, save for branches overhead - he saw his friends running in their direction, on their - as they say - last legs. But that was not the sight Po screamed at.
It was horror incarnate. Only three times worse. The thing that began to emerge at the edge of the clearing - a towering, huge, running mountain of flesh, with one visible intent: to quiet the life of the puny human beings fleeing from it - was something that made Kuss cringe with fear.

[OOC: Boy was I surprised at the reactivation of this! Do your worst, team!]

8 February 2006, 04:33 AM
ah! the shuttle! the rescue!
seeing the shiny metallic shape blazing through the trees in their direction gave garth a new rush of adrenaline, of the kind he ain't felt for weks, months maybe (at least that was this strange sensation in his body). he grabbed his female companion by her arm to try and force her into an even faster run
- there's Kuss! finally! he found us! - he screamed while never seizing to fire blindly in the rear direction where the horrible growls were still approaching, becoming louder with every second...
- Kuss, blast the scumbag! throw us a line or something! get us out of here! - the reasonable part of him realised maybe that there's no way their sullustan rescuer can hear his screams, but it was not reason that was driving him at the moment. it was pure adrenaline that flowed in his veins and moved all his muscles including vocal cords right now... ah, to be so dependent upon the little eary guy... NO! forget that thought! just run! Run! RUN!!!

8 February 2006, 10:16 AM
Ok, so, after the numbness that has been overwhelming me for such a long time (a couple of months I guess :)), I come back to life or rather struggle for life, if I may call it like that. And what do I see? Garth's hand on my shoulder dragging me somewhere, in the middle of the jungle...
- Hey, it hurts!! What the hell are you doing, you rotten freak!!! And where are we running, for chrissake?!
At this very moment the petrifying truth begins to dawn on me, as I look back and see the fleshy, blood-oozing, roaring beast. Hard as I can, I try to grasp the memory of last events vaguely lingering at the back of my head... Oh, Lee, concentrate...ok, there was a fight, I had a branch, I attacked something with the branch, I was also resting (or hiding maybe, but it would be too disgraceful, wouldn't it...?) in a hole, taking leaves out of my hair..oh, skip it.. and then I was trying to rescue Garth (is it possible? maybe it was Garth who wast trying to rescue me..with his manly image he would..no it was me, who was to be the saviour..., oh nevermind!!!...and then.... EUREKA!!!! yes, I know at last!!! we are running away 'coz the beast's ferocious mother is after us and yes, now I can see that Garth's trying to make for the speeder and that's why he's dragging me so hard...yes, my logical discourse strikes me almost as powerfully as the branches and creepers we're getting through...I guess I think too much sometimes but so it goes. Ok, enough is enough, so what I try to do now is to run faster than my giddy stream of consciousness so as to finally reach this ×××ing speeder and get my ass out of this jungle hell.

10 February 2006, 03:56 AM
"Yeah Po!! Yo’ma’man!! We O U one!!” Slian couldn’t hide his excitement and relief. He finally saw his mates and could hope for a happy end, but he knew it was not the right time for celebrations. He grabbed the trigger and aimed at the "mother of the f***er” and clenched to it so strong that electrifying pain went through his finger. He aimed at the biggest bulk of flesh on the beast but he couldn’t see whether it reached its destination. He just heard the cannon blasts rumbling through his skull and interfering with bright blue flashes coming from the muzzle and blinding his eyes. It was mad half’a’minute of absolute rage, but it had to end. Blasting the sh*t face was not enough… “Darn, I really hope that will make the pile’o crap stop for a moment.” Kuss rushed out of the turret seat and ran back to Po. “Good job man, now give me your comm!” He snatched the little thingy from Po’s hand. “Try to go as close as you can and I’ll try to collect them both at a time! When I say were off just go like hell and try not to lose us!! … oh, and when landing in a safe spot just remember we’ll be still hanging there mate… See you later…” Kuss hurried through the corridor towards the entrance where he previously attached the rope. He felt that Po has already started the dive in the direction of the two runners. The Sullustan put on the harness and… “Man, I hope I will not loose consciousness due to the G-force, but hell, even if, they will have to grab the harness themselves and hang on to me… F**k, You live only once, Geronimooo!!!” …
Nuff said... SEE me comming... (http://img151.imageshack.us/my.php?image=sullustanjump9gk.jpg)

30 July 2006, 10:08 AM
After all this running - almost like months of running - you begin to see the light in the tunnel. You see your Sullustan chap coming down in what appears to be makeshift-bungee jumping set. He's comin' down fast, hopefully he won't break.

It's just a couple of metres more - the beast some twenty metres behind, gainin' on you, the foul stench of it already enveloping you and...

You grab the limp Kus. You got him. You got him, the two of you clinging to the Sullustan with all you got left in you. Now, only to get out of this mess, get up - up!

Garth notices a commlink lying in the grass under your feet.

30 July 2006, 01:52 PM
Once more I feel as if months have gone by in just few seconds, isn't it strange? sometimes I think that my sense of time passage is somewhat distorted... I thought that in the meantime I had thrown my birthday party and then seen easter bunny and even travelled to the distant planet called Londominium I guess, where unfortunatelly I had spent all my dough but now...aaaaaa alas! I'm back again in this tiresome jungle with Garth holding tightly (too tightly I suppose ;) ) to my waist and all I can see is the hairy, stinky foot (oh no, not again! my sense of aesthetics is bringing me down in such a momentuous moment!), to which I am clinging so ferociously! I should have stayed in my mind-delusioned area instead! And on top of all this the sleazy beast! B'm'faith I wouldn't wish anybody such a mother, let alone mother- in-law...has my sense of humour sharpened during the last months, or rather seconds to be precise:D ?
No, that's enough! Enough I said! I want to be got out of here instantly! I want a bath and comfortable bed with new linen and good food, shrimps for instance and I want to be surrounded by handsome people or at least other preety creatures and I want to be surrounded by pleasurable scents! Now! Am I spoilt brat? So be it! Yes, I am and I am used to luxury and comfort ! and I'm not used to stinky feet and drooling and repulsive beasts and some piece of junk instead of a speeder and I'm not going to change it! never ever! do you hear me?! Get me out of this mess! Otherwise I'm going to go crazy and I am being serious as hell about that!

31 July 2006, 03:50 AM
up, up and away!... i said up, up and away, dammit! why ain't we ascending? and how do i know what 'ascend' means? amazing how the mind of a man works in extreme conditions.
okay, so, the beast won't reach us for another 4.33 of a second, setting the speeder to the upwards gear shouldn't take Bootka more than 3.79 second. that's plenty of time, the situation's practically solved. but what now? only wait till the seconds pass? doing nothing for entire 4 seconds? nothing heroic? bollocks!
luckily for garth, fate has provided him with an opportunity to prove his exceptional level of machismo once again. there was a commlink lying in the grass, just below them, some 67 cm to the left of his left foot. normally, he would just do the show-off half-kick, so precise as to lift the comlink with the tip of his shoe to proper height and then simply catch it in style, possibly with his hand behind his back if the moods were high. well, but this wasn't a normal situation, with Lee blocking his movement possibilities, his hands both occupied (right - tightly wrapped around Lee's slender waist, left - gripping Kuss's harness around his chest in an iron grip) and stuff like this. it required something extra.
as usual, the decision was made immediately.

1. garth pushes Leela slightly forward with his right hand; 17 cm is enough - his left foot is now free to operate; simultaneously he tranfers his body weight onto the right foot.
2. garth places the half-kick in the destination point; the exact spot where the shoe-tip meets the ground right beside the commlink, the force, the velocity and the angle of the movement are calculated within nanoseconds, deficiency of space for a proper swing of the leg is also taken into account;
3. waiting for the commlink to come flying vertically up (a 1-5 cm deviation from the trajectory is tolerable on the account of hasty preparations of the maneouvre) garth arches his back and opens his mouth wide, ready to catch the commlink with his teeth...
the world holds its breath.

Garth Algar's Mind - recent activity report: a thought "do i need this commlink anyway?" was detected, classified as irrelevant, and discarded automatically.

31 July 2006, 01:12 PM
It is as if the world was a holo-game at the mercy of Garth's feel-pad, reacting in response to a well-executed combo of movements, rewarding the player's dextrous manouvres.

Thus it unfolds:
A delicate, yet resolute, pressure applied to Leela's right breast vectored 28* off the X-axis in the direction of the Y-axis puts her away, allowing Garth the necessary freedom of movements. Incidentally, she pouts and an inexplicable grimace appears on her face. Perhaps it's gratitude. Perhaps not.

Next, the muddied boot on Garth's left foot sets out to make contact with it's target.

In the life of every man who has ever tried sports there are two unforgetable moments.
One is the moment when he realises that the cheerleader he had just slept with has it on the holo-camera and is going to blackmail said man for zillions of credits.
The other is the moment when he performs the kick of his lifetime, which is the stuff that cuts rough diamonds into perfectly octagonal pieces of jewellry.

Unfortunately, neither of those moments happened to Garth on that very instant. No love lost, though -

the boot softly slips its nose into the wet grass, slithering between the moist and full leaves, kissing the surface of the commlink in the G-spot of it's weight, sending the appliance graciously flying through the air, with scattered drops of water floating opalising nearby - some of them embracing Garth's snug trouser-legs. All of this in just under .673 of a second -

meanwhile - if you were to disregard the roaring of the beast, Leela's screaaaaaam, the speeder's engine-hum and the normal noises of a jungle - you'd hear the leather of Algar's jacket squaking quietly in unison as his body, sheathed in such stylish clothes (and it is not unwise to assume that they'd been prepared by some of the best designers on Corellia), arched itself - like it were the Crystall Arch by the Emerald Lake on the outskirts of Garth's hometown.

then - behold! - his orthodontically perfect teeth (it would be not unwise to assume that they were impeccably white in their orthodontical perfectness) glared in the last, lost rays of an evening sun here on Darlyn Boda -

and they glared not without cause nor without effect - for at that very point of the time continuum the commlink peaked in its perpendicular movement toward the sky - which was obviously doomed to end low for the piece of equipment, all because of that ruthless wench, the gravity - and Garth clasped the thing between his immaculate lips, harbouring his angelic teeth - clasped in a way that would make many a macho cringe with envy and all the women faint with love.

And he still had time to say: "Come, baby, ride with me away in my space-rocket!" - that is, had he not had a mouthfull of commlinks, or rather - one commlink. Instead, his tounge - that ever-swift and -agile beast nested in his mouth - lurched forward and pressed the 'talk' button, with the mike directed at - still pouting (yes, even despite the scream) - Leela.

All that was left was for Lee to say/scream/whisper/sing (cross out the unnecessary option):


2 August 2006, 03:15 AM
As far as the grimace on my face is concerned, it is not inexplicable at all. It's just an expression of impatience, exhaustion, pain, overwhelming tiredness, depression and generally speaknig, or rather screaming (yes, coz being a hysterical woman equals spitting out my lungs every time I find myself in an inconvenient predicament or simply when I feel like doing so) and a very bad mood steming from the fact of being suspended in the air, being held by Garth, holding to Kuss' feet and having to say something sensible to the comlink while being short of breath...I can't stand it any longer... and no, I am not grateful to anyone for anything!!! I've got no reasons to be grateful! I've lost my family, my ship with all my clothes( and even this awful tight pyjamas ;) ) and other princessly stuff, my dignity and even, strangely enough, my sense of humour has petered out! Oh, where are the times when the only instance of being thrown into the air was connected with my royal swing?! and now what! in lieu of wooden seat and ropes I've got this conceited and self-centered and pig-headed Garth Algar who's perfectly sure of his doubtful manhood and machismo vibes together with Kuss, this bald, wrinkled, silly creature with light bulbs instead of eyes! Aaaaaaaa! Help me someone! I just... Ok, Lee, enough is enough cut it out! Your flow of powerful thoughts is over!
So now, after this little journey into the heart of my darkness I would say, I return to my sensible mode and make use of the comlink.
Hi Po, it's Lee! We're swinging, holding on to Kuss just few feet over the surface of the jungle with the beast at our back! we need help
Dragg us onto the board! otherwise we're going to end up as a bloody desert for the monster! Over and out!
And from now on the only thing I can do is to wait in silence for the miracle...

3 August 2006, 05:17 AM
In response, a weak signal comes over the commlink:

-Aight! Hold on tight! We're gonna' ride the snake so - here the speeder engages its engines on full power (and you'd swear that Po just burnt some rubber with that thrust!) and a sinking feeling grips your stomachs as you begin to lift up; even a muted 'ouff' slips through the lips of the semi-unconscious Kuss as the drag begins to get heavy on him - fasten your seatbelts, Lee, 'cause the jungle's going bye-bye!.

With these words Po breaks off the connection, concentrating - you hope so - on "riding the snake", with you dangling several feet below the vehicle, and the monster reaching out its arms in a last-ditch attempt to avenge its child... and it looks like it's going to make it!


4 August 2006, 02:33 AM
As I see the bloody tentacles of the beast reaching at our maltreated bodies, I know there's no time to waste, no time for "peacemaker" attitude, no time for remorse and other stuff like that, no time for cultivating my royalty and dignity and, first and foremost womanhood..yet I do think about it! For heavens' sake! I have to act coz there's no one else to do so since Garth, outstanding as he is, doesn't possess two more hands or anyting that would do in such situation...not to mention Kuss...
Hence half conscious and less than half aware of my decisions and, even worse than that, actions I get the shockwhip out of my belt and hit! Hit! Hit! Just as if I were blind, I'm waving my wepon like a maniac in a killing frenzy. I cannot see clearly coz of the sweat, blood and hair on my face, let alone the enormous velocity of the speeder together with quite uncomfortable, or rather unsteady, position of my solitary combat... And the only thing I can think of is DEATH! DEATH!DEATH! and to be perfectly honest, at the very moment, I really don't care whose death it is supposed to be. I just want it to be over...

4 August 2006, 07:27 AM
Thus, with the speeder beginning to rocket up, Lee fights her brief, personal, fight with the beast. It's female versus female - in a contest between the beast's tentacles and Lee's shockwhip! A sight which to those in the know would bear remarkable resemblance to the mating duels of the females of the tentacle tortoises of Mrrrlhanik Borr, where there is no quarter given - not until the other female concedes her claim on the male...

Through a coincidence of the speeder's pull, prowess with her whip and sheer luck, Leelaina smacks the monster straight into its head, it's mouth reeking with the stench of a thousand carcasses, the slap hitting it square in the eyes - painfully, very painfully! This agitates the monster beyond comprehension, the beast roars tremendously at you, the noise deafening - Lee swings again -

Hitting one of the tentacles - you hear the crackling of electricity and the burning of flesh - the tentacle hits you nonetheless... Garth barely able to hold on to Kuss! The force of the blow sends you flying away from the monster -

As a result, Lee's final swing misses its target and only miracously she avoids smacking Garth in the back with the fearsome blow, the whip getting entangled with the cables, burning a part of them before Lee quickly disengages her weapon -

Alas! You're flying away from the monster, but the cables you are on has been put off course - Po obviously unaware of it - and it looks like it's from the frying pan into the fire, as the speeder is dragging you straight into the direction of a huge tree in your path! - quick! do something!...

6 August 2006, 05:31 AM
holy crappatoli! garth didn't even have time to congratuate Lee (in his mind only of course) on her extraordinary shockwhip prowess (well, actually she needn't have singed neither garth's delicate ivory skin, nor the cables they were hanging on to, but let's not make an issue of it; the beast's done, hurray!), so he didn't even have time to think all of this because suddenly the sway of the line sent the speeder's priceless cargo (plus Leela and Kuss) straight onto a tree! no! after all that we got through now end crushed like a bug? i won't have it!
garth made an assessment of the situation. the tree's trunk seemed at least a few meters wide, Po raising them sufficiently high so as to avoid the crash was out of the question, there was not enough time left. the only way to dodge the tree was to force the line into a heavy swing and come swinging merrily past the tree's trunk, dodging it by the right hand or the left hand side.

garth waited for the right moment (at least he believed it to be the right moment) and started thrusting his body spasmatically around which he hoped would start the desired swaying movement of the line and themselves. he sent Lee an expressive look (the commlink still between his teeth) supposed to communicate "do what i do!" to her. swing, baby, swing, swing!

8 August 2006, 04:41 AM
This is your life - hung on a barely-holding cable somewhere above a man-forsaken jungle on a world that's not even remotly considered to be in the civilised regions of the Galaxy.

This is the pendulum of your fate - it's either the nil nihil of non-existance, smashed to a bloody pulp after a daring escape from the clutches of an ugly monster or the yay-wow of deliverance, of running to fight another day... You yourself are the sullustano-human pendulum of your fates.

The movement is very minute, hardly discernible - but isn't that the case with fate, where it's this one little flutter of butterfly wings that invokes hurricanes, changing the cosmic matrix of outcomes, flipping the caleidoscope of possibilities? - and...

the tree's rushing in your direction...

Do or die, do or die...

The tree hits!

Garth's back feels the impact, it's force thudding the air out of his lungs -
luckily, it's only a few branches and he manages to hold on!

You're clear of danger!

Can it be? Have our heroes finally got out of the jungle? What's next in this insane universe full of adventure?

23 August 2006, 08:31 AM
A few kilometres away and a couple of minutes later, Po lands - cautiously - and the party boards his famed speeder. It is now night, and when you lift up above the jungle noises, Po asks you all, over his shoulder, whether you have any wishes as to the destination.

-You know, we could hit the city. I bet the little guy won't mind seeing a doc, will he now?