View Full Version : The Salvation of Vengence

22 June 2005, 06:04 AM
Hello everyone, I'm working an a fanfic based upon the creative genius of Jared Zuuhl. All works following have been approved by him. For further information on this fascinating subject please refer to his website The Lodian Empire (http://www.angelfire.com/theforce/lodians/).

Please PM me with your thoughts/response.


22 June 2005, 06:08 AM
A wind blew across the moon of Sar, carrying with it a feeling of expectation. Today, four padawans would enter into the Jedi Trials.
Two were brothers, twins of the Don’Cuane family, who had entered the Academy on Sar together, and though there differing talents and interests kept them apart, a biological Force telepathy connected them across light years. They were nearly identical in appearance, both stood tall at 1,85 meters with broad slim frames that were well muscled over from combat and lightsaber training. The only discernable difference being the length of their dark emerald green hair (for while Joth strictly maintained the traditional padawan hair cut, his younger brother Dax occasionally neglected his appearance, allowing his hair to grow longer than allowed).

The other two padawans standing nearby were both female, neither paying much attention to any of those around her, lost within their own thoughts. The elder’s name was Xam Marul. She stood at 1.67 meters with silvery white hair, providing a striking contrast to her deeply tanned skin. Instead of brown robes, she wore near black robes of violet with a white tear painted upon her left cheek, the traditional Lodian mourning garb.

Next to her stood the youngest of all the padawans. Her name was Aydeen Kai, a starship pilot of unparalleled skill. And although unintimidating at 1.6 meters, her stance spoke of a lithe grace. Her brilliant purple hair, close cropped in the traditional style, set off her amber eyes, giving an already piercing gaze further force.
They were all four gathered in a courtyard within the Jedi Academy on the Sar Moon, the floor and pillars surrounding them made of a burgundy marble shot through with silver and gold minerals. The ceiling depicted the Kyriah, a nine pointed star embossed over paintings depicting the Precepts of the Jedi.

A *whoosh* broke the silence as a man stepped in, dressed in masters robes with his Zibaneff half skirt trailing behind him. Upon reaching the four padawans, he gestured for silence, and then indicated that they should follow him.

The Jedi Master led them through a maze of halls and corridors, eventually coming to stand before an enormous set of doors, both inlaid with gold to emphasize the carved Kyriah and the inscription above: “To live with the Force is to be normal, to life in the Force is to be Jedi”

“Who comes?”

The force of the voice rang out of the very air, its power and strength unsettling the padawans to the very core of their being.

It was their guide who answered, “Those who wish to be to be tested for full knighthood.”

“Then enter, if you feel of worth,” slowly, the doors folded inward, revealing a magnificent chamber. The very floor seemed to pulse with life, the walls and ceiling radiating peace and serenity. The room was flooded with light, though no source was evident. A large seal was inlaid into the pearl white floor: A lager blue crystal was overlaid by two crossed lightsabers. At the point of intersection, the Kyriah was evident. Around the rim of the seal an inscription ran “The Khir-Nahral to discover, the Khir-Khalur to protect, and the Force to Guide us all”.
At the opposing end of the chamber, the entire Jedi Council sat arranged in a crescent, their eyes upon the padawans, piercing through to the soul of the force-users.

As the candidates stepped into the audience hall, the massive doors closed, sealing all in the resonant chamber.

The central member of the Council stood as the padawans approached. He stood 1.8 meters with long red hair gathered into a tail at the nape of his neck. Though elderly, his posture still told of great strength and poise His voice rolled like thunder, “Young Ones, today you come before the Jedi Council to be tested. The culmination of years of effort and frustration on both your parts and the parts of your masters happens now!”

As he said this he, gestured for the padawans to advance, “The Jedi Council is the mind and the heart of the Order, the Force is our ally and our lifeblood. Wisdom guides our path and influences our movements. The lightsaber is our tool and enforces peace in this galaxy. All this and more will you be tested on today…”

Rengir awoke in a cold sweat. A dream such as this never came without its price, and ever since he’d fled civilization and its medical benefits, they had taken even more of a toll from his once strong body. But even in his weakness, he realized what he must do: he must leave behind his life of self-isolation, taking upon himself the mantle of Jedi again. Finding these four was imperative as well. He must find them and train them before the Enemy does and subverts their potential into his schemes of power.

22 June 2005, 12:27 PM
Very nice build up :)

25 June 2005, 02:23 PM
Chapter 1

The final jaxtra fell, its massive insectoid carcass split in twain by the blazing lightsaber blade.

Joth deactivated his zakk-garal; the cleft sabers dual blades simultaneously sinking into the hilt. Stepping away from the carnage, he surveyed the scene. The nest was strewn with the dead beetle-mantis-like creatures. Glancing around with a heavy heart, Joth gathered his scattered robes. Though the removal of this infestation was necessary, the destruction of these animals left a hollow place in the pit of his stomach.

Striding out into the daylight, Joth filled his lungs with fresh air, the rank stench of the jaxtra cave exploding from his body, leaving only a bitter aftertaste in the back of his mouth. The lone Force-user entered a nearby clearing that provided a break from the dense white foliage and let out a shrill whistle. Moments later, an answering cry was heard, accompanied by a steady *whoosh* that filled the air, culminating in the appearance of two bird-like creatures. Between the flying pair, a large object was suspended, which as they neared Joth was gently laid upon the ground.

As soon as their burden was set down, the two avians came to settle upon Joth’s upraised arm. For a long moment, the young man studied his two companions: the abirin was a common enough creature. Zoologists had reported signs of nesting upon almost every colonized planet this side of the Kurn Rift, but to actually see one of theses astonishing beasts was a rare occurrence. The silvery-gold feathers that covered their bodies refracted light around their tough frames, creating the illusion of invisibility while in flight. In addition to this they are also undetectable on radar or infrared scanners. But despite their carnivorous appearance, the limited studies have shown that abirin actually feed off the electromagnetic storms native to the Yut Sector, somehow storing energy in a biological battery that sustains them for an entire year before needing a recharge. For this purpose, they migrate at the end of each year to the Kurn Rift. It is at this time that the mating takes place as well. As the new year begins, it’s theorized that the abirin return to the last planet where they’d been roosting before the migration and there lay their eggs, caring for them until they were old enough to fly and hunt alone.

An interesting fact that Joth himself had noticed was the apparent ability for augmentation when more than one abirin participated in a task. It had become apparent that when two or more of the avians worked together, the abilities of a single abirin seemed exponentially increased. Joth speculated that it was this ability that allowed the migration to the Kurn Rift and the return as well.

A shrill cry broke his reverie, bringing him back to the present. The larger abirin, Boaz, had become restless preening himself and had nudged his female counterpart, Esther, causing her to exclaim aloud. Shaking his head, Joth strode over to the large bundle rested upon the ground. He undid the outer holding straps and began arranging he contents. Sure that all parts were present, Joth began to construct his glider. Musing upon past times, he remembered the time upon which he’d discovered Esther and Boaz. It had been with this very glider as well.

It had been a week after receiving the assignment from the Jedi Council for his solo mission on Neshur. The Lodian Colony was only recently established and the colonists were already being attacked and eaten by the raging jaxtra. The usual peaceful attempts at repelling these creatures had already been attempted and failed. Even the Jedi previously sent to influence these menaces away from the colonial base had been unsuccessful. Joth had then been dispatched to eradicate them in the colonial area. A research team was then to study the Primary Infestation Point and take DNA and larvae samples in another attempt in establishing a way to allow peaceful interaction with the jaxtra or at least provide a way to repel them away from the settlements.

As soon as Joth arrived upon the colonial planet, the locals had provided him with a glider and supplied a crash course it its operation .The high plateaus, deep valleys, and ample thermal updrafts made the device ideal for casual transportation and observation. It had been for that purpose that Joth had been aloft that day; attempting to locate a jaxtra nest. Taking advantage of a thermal to gain some altitude, Joth heard a commotion above him. Spinning his glider to look up, he received the greatest shock of his life; a jaxtra was flying above him!

Joth was so stunned he barely managed to save himself from a horrendous dive. When he had regained control of the glider, he began trying to regain his wits as well. A flying jaxtra! There was no such thing! All reports stated that even the immense jaxtra queens didn’t have wings. Such an anomaly was so far outside the realm of conceivability that it bordered on the insane. Was there a possibility that some other natural development had led to the avail ability without the use of wings. Besides, the jaxtra was a burrowing creature! There was only way to find out. With his glider under tight control, Joth began to follow this queer apparition, his mind raging with the possibilities and implications of this occurrence.

The passage was not easy. At unexpected times, the jaxtra shot skyward when it flew over a thermal and it weaved constantly between the sandstone obelisks jutting upward from the planet floor. Occasionally, Joth would cut his movements too close and one of his wingtips would scrape against the wall of rock.

The journey continued until after sunset, only the internal luminescence in the jaxtra allowing Joth to follow. Eventually, the insectoid began to descend, spiraling downward. It eventually came to rest upon a large ledge jutting out from an otherwise boring pillar of sandstone.

Joth landed on top of the obelisk, collapsing his glider as he did, the wings folding in to become a crumbled jumble along his spine. He surveyed his surroundings: large boulders rested atop the thirty foot diameter peak of the pillar, scattered randomly along the disc-like top. Disengaging himself from his glider, he placed his pack of gear atop the device to prevent the high winds from stealing his only source of transportation.

Taking out a syntharope dispenser, Joth spun a couple of loops around the largest boulder, located near the center of the peak. He then carefully began repelling down the hundred meter drop to the ledge. The descent went quickly, the face of rock having a sheer surface with few obstructions. About ten meters above the ledge, he stopped.

Looking down, he saw the jaxtra skittering around the ledge as if looking for a way down. Igniting a glowrod and dropping down, Joth experienced an even greater shock than he had before. Standing about five meters away from the jaxtra stood, trying to catch it was a giant abirin! The awesomeness of the massive bird was breath-taking, even in its frustration to catch its escaped prey. Its feathers glinted silver-gold in the dim light of the glowrod. Two ridges of feathers arched over emerald eyes like eyebrows, continuing along the sides of its head to give the appearance of two great horns. Large strands of hair hung dangling from the bottom edge of each wing and the tail feathers, ending in small tufts of feathers.

The abirin’s face off with the jaxtra seemed to be going in its favor. It had the beetle-like creature backed into a crevice made by the convergence of two slopes in the cliff face. Advancing slowly, the mighty avian made its gradual way toward the cornered beast. As the great bird neared the crevice, the panicked jaxtra burst forth from the darkness, massive pincers encircling the large neck of the abirin.

With an outraged yell, Joth launched himself from his perch, releasing his hold upon the syntharope. Using the Force to guide his movements through the air, he ignited his zakk-garal, the dual beams of energy blazing fiercely in the dim light. Passing over the struggling pair, he swept the cleftsaber across his chest, severing the pincers from the jaxtra’s head and its head from the body.

So involved in the lunge aimed at the jaxtra, Joth momentarily forgot he was on a ledge and thereby shooting over the edge. His quick reactions barely saved himself from a deadly fall. Using the coursing adrenaline in his veins, the Force-user pushed himself upon the ledge. Rising quickly, he raced back to the suffering abirin. Deftly avoiding the lashing talons and wings, he kneed down beside the massive head. As he began to stroke the ruffled feathers of the immense creature, he willed the Force to flow through him, soothing the spirit of the tormented beast. Slowly, the lashing and writhing ceased. Crooning softly, Joth bent lower to examine the damage. The jaxtra’s pincers were gone, knocked away by the erratic movements of the abirin, but the damaged they’d caused was gruesome; deep gouges bled profusely with milky-white blood. Evidenced from the growing pool on the floor, it was painfully obvious the majestic beast would not survive. Wanting too ease its suffering, Joth used every reserve he had to guide the Force, knocking the suffering bird unconscious.

He stayed with the abirin until the end. Even as its heartbeat stopped and the sun rose into the sky, he never left his watch. Only after the sun had returned to its hiding place behind the planet did he rise from the creature’s side.

Elevated, he began to wander around the small cave inside the cliff face, mourning the passage of such an awesome creation. During his third coverage of the inner twilight, he passed through the center of the cave and ended up face down up the ground. He’d tripped! He retrieved his glowrod and shown it upon the place where he’d fallen.

Nestled within a large indent burrowed into the stone floor was a nest of jaxtra bodies. They’d been split down the center, their internal juices flowing over the datapad-sized eggs. There were ten of them in total, arranged in a five-pointed star pattern in the center of the nest.

Upon seeing these remnants of the once-proud abirin, Joth was filled with a sense of honor and duty toward what must have obviously been the mother of these eggs. He felt a growing sense of responsibility for the growth and protection of her posterity. Making a painstaking climb back up the cliff-face to retrieve his comlink, Joth called in a transport to retrieve himself and his new charges.

Since that day, he had raised the offspring of that once mighty creature, eventually releasing eight of them into the wild. Two of them stayed of their own accord, somehow feeling Joth’s need for continual contact with the magnificent beings. He eventually named them Esther and Boaz.

Looking down at the completed glider, Joth called in the research team on his comlink to tell of his completed mission and inform them the jaxtra nest coordinates. With that, he called Boaz and Esther over to get him airborne and began his journey back to the base colony.

25 June 2005, 09:02 PM
Very nice :D

Do you craft the story in another program (ie. word) then copy and paist for the post?

26 June 2005, 05:18 AM
Originally posted by Slave_1
Very nice :D

Do you craft the story in another program (ie. word) then copy and paist for the post?

Nope. I write it on paper, type it, send it to Jared Zuuhl, work with him, then I post it. :D

27 June 2005, 01:00 AM
Cool! Everytime I tried to write on paper, I got writers cramp after about 2 hours. ;) So now it's all done on the laptop. I havn't had much time to write latly though... :/

20 July 2005, 07:50 AM
Cool Story. :tarkin: