View Full Version : No Need to Be Sober: Splitting Headaches

Donovan Morningfire
14 August 2005, 04:48 PM
***At Dr. Evil's insidous lair***


Chief Sciene Officer Schlok: If I may put forth a hypothesis, I belive what has occured due to the unforeseen forced mixture of Sanity and Insanity is that we have actually succeded in creating an alternate pocket universe with copies of everyone and everything. I believe this most likely occured due to one or more of the racers using an Improbability Drive in their vessel.

Dr. Evil: Oh, is that all? Then would you be so kind as to explain why NOBODY AMONGST MY SUPPOSEDLY FRIKKIN' BRILLANT STAFF OF MAD SCIENTISTS DIDN'T PLAN FOR THIS!!!

CSO Schlok: Um... we never thought anyone would be crazy enough to use an Improbability Drive?

Dr. Evil: NOT GOOD ENOUGH! FAT BASTARD, BUFFET TABLE FOR ONE! *pushes button on his throne, and CSO Schlok is dropped through a trap door*

Fat Bastard (heard from beneath the floor): Git in me belly! *sounds of human screams are then heard, followed by a prodigous belch*

Dr. Evil: Well, that certainly made me fell better.

***Aboard the Jedi's Fire***

Donovan Morningfire and Darth Dogbert pause in the epic lightsaber duel. At a quick glance, it is obvious to see that Darth Dogbert is grossly over-matched, especially since most of his black attire have been cut to shreds, and Donovan's hair is only slightly mussed.

Darth Dogbert: Um... at the risk of revealing a level of ignorance I'm not comfortably admitting to in front of an enemy, do you have any idea what just happened?

Donovan: Something tells me that whoever you're working for, their plan didn't go as planned.

Darth Dogbert: Thank you ever so much, Captain Obvious. I was referring to beside that. Something feels... different.

Donovan: You mean like... this! *Force tosses Darth Dogbert into a conviently placed escape pod. As the canine villain tries to recover from the unexpected attack, Donovan telekinetically closes the pod and activates the firing mechanism.*

Darth Dogbert (as the escape pod flies away): CURSE YOU!!! I shall have my revenge!!!!

Donovan: Okay, now that he's taking a much needed time-out, time to start working on what the frell just happened here.

Z'Rissa (phasing in): You felt it too?

Donovan: Hard not to. But I think the best thing to do right now is regroup back at the bar on Zaphod and try and figure out what just happened.

Markarris (over the comm system): Hey Donovan, you alive down there?

Donovan: Yeah, why?

Malkarris: We've got some serious wierdness going on. More than usual.

Donovan: On my way! *turns to look at Ris* If you'll excuse me... *bows then turns and runs off at hyper-speed.

Ris (pouty): Show-off

Lina Inverse: Yeah, he does tend to do that. Probably has to do with a massively overblown Martyr Complex. I take it you're Z'Rissa Organa, formerly a Jedi Knight and lightsaber instructor?

Ris: I would be. And just who are you?

Lina: I, for your information, just happen to be the cutest, most powerful sorceress in this or any other reality, the often imitated but never duplicated... *strikes a dramatic pose* Lina Inverse!!

Ris: Who?

*Lina immediately does a face plant on the deck*

OOC: Okay, here's the new RPG thread. If you're reading this before reading my last post on the NNtBS: Once More With Feeling thread, shame on you. Happy postings :D

1 September 2005, 05:02 PM
OOC : I guess I get the first shot at getting some action going on in this thread. Well, here goes.....

IC :

Elsewhere in the Galaxy, as the race goes on, a recently manisfested copy of the Starbound Misfit II and his crew is rendezvousing with an also recently manisfested copy of the Night Raven at a popular sports bar space station.

As the Misfit II & Raven are moving into docking positions, the Misfit II slightly collides against the Raven three times.

Misfit : >CLANG< "Ooops, padon me." >BANG< "Excuse me." >BONG< "My bad. You know, if we bump like this once more, on some worlds we'd be considered legally married."

Meanwhile, at Dr. Evil's current base of operations, Dr. E decides to check on the race to try and get an idea if he had any partial success with his nefarious plot.

Dr. Evil : "Put that race up on the big screen. I want to catch the latest update."

The latest race coverage comes in over the holonet, reviewing the stops completed so far and posting the current condition on all the competitors, displaying each ship in it's current position along the course. When the Misfit II appears on screen, Dr. Evil blurts out "Why didn't somebody tell me those bounty hunters are in the race? Would somebody please throw me a frickin' bone here!"

Turning to his henchmen manning the comm station, Dr. Evil orders they hail the Misfit II. Moments later, Criss and Lynnori appear on the screen.

Dr. Evil : "Mr. Staven, I'm surprised to see you're still around. I would have figured you'd have been trampled by a wild Rancor while on one of your hunts."

Criss : "Not likely, Dr. Evil. Wild Rancors are native to the planet Dathomir. I've never been there. I'm kind of in the middle of a race here, what do you want?"

Dr. Evil : "From you? Oh, nothing much, just to see you and your fellow Mandalorians dead so you can no longer interfere with any of my plans. Soon I should be able to ensure that you all are dead, you see, I'm currently working on building a", Dr. Evil makes a quotes gesture with both hands, "light saber to kill you all with, using some old Sith documents I found."

Criss : "Sorry to break this to you, but the Mandalorian Iron our armor is made from is lightsaber resistant, so your plan won't work."

Lynnori : (chuckles) "Nice try, better luck next time."

Criss looks at Lynnori in disbelief. Lynnori : "What? I was teasing him."

Dr. Evil : "What!?! It didn't mention that anywhere in the plans!" (turns to one of his henchmen) "Give me those documents, I want to check them!"

The henchman pulls a pile of printed documents from a drawer and hands them to Dr. Evil, who starts looking thru them.

Dr. Evil : "Waitaminnit, these aren't those saber plans, this is that rejected film screenplay I told you to shred. Where's my 'light saber' plans?"

Looking confused, the henchman glances at the papers, then looks at the shredded strips in the shredder wastebin. "Um, oops."

Dr. Evil : "What kind of moron are you?"

Henchman : "I'm a 5th generation Moron, sir. Cadet Moron, in fact. My cousin is the Lieutenant Commander."

Across the room, a Lt. Commander raises his hand & waves. Dr. Evil looks at him in surprise.

Dr. Evil : "How many of you Morons are on my staff?"

Five other henchmen in the room raise their hands.

Dr. Evil : "I knew it, I'm surrounded by frickin' Morons!"

Criss and Lynnori, both laughing at Dr. Evil's predicament, speak up.

Criss : "Well, Dr. Evil, seems you've got bigger problems to deal with, so we'll let you go."

Lynnori : "Bye-bye!" Lynnori then breaks the connection.

Meanwhile, back at the sports bar, as the clones of Criss, Terras and company are taking their seats, the Criss clone says "Somebody must be talking about me. My ears are burning."

3 September 2005, 09:16 PM
OOC: Hope you don't mind a spot of barrowing Donovan.


Donovan arrives on the bridge, the gust of wind following him ruffling his clothes in a dramatic manner, causing the bridge bunnies to sigh covertly. "What's the serious wierdness?"

Malk points to teh main viewscreen. "That."

On the screen a sensor map is displayed, showing the race course and the surrounding space. On it are the racers and the Jedi's Fire, following the race course. The five racers are also shown at various places off the course.

"Each racer and the Fire has a copy, or we are their copies," continues Malk. "So far, we haven't contacted any of them, or they us. In fact it doesn't seem like we can contact them."

"Why not?" asks Donovan.

Malk flips open a book. "Page 3348589347.578. Violates the plotline. And I may be insane, but I'm not messing with those you know who's."


Malk leans forward and whispers, "Lawyers." The crew gives a collective gasp.

"So what do we do now?" asks T'real.

"Well, two of the racers are meeting at Headtails sports bar. I'm setting a course..."

"Ahem..." says the bridge bunnies.

"... they're setting a course right now. We should be there in a few hours." Malk checked the chrono. "We'll see what happen then."


2 September 2006, 03:47 PM
Wow, almost an entire year has gone by since the last post. 8o

Hey, Donovan, any ideas when you'll feel the urge to revive NNTBS and it's multitude of equally hilarious spinoffs?

Terras Jadeonar & Raven
4 September 2006, 01:14 AM
As Terras, Nileeta, and Raven's holo-avatar sit at the bar....

Terras: Hey guys... Do you ever get the strange feeling that your currently in 2 places at once?

Nileeta: Strange...

Raven: Yup, all the time. :D

OOC: Shortest NNTBS post ever! B)

Donovan Morningfire
5 September 2006, 05:47 AM
Strictly OOC Post:
Right now, I don't have any plans to resurrect the NNtBS thread(s), due largely to work and just being too burned-out on GM'ing in general to really want to get back into it, especially something as typically unstructured as this.

Like I said in the long-buried OOC thread, if somebody wants to take the reins and run with it, feel free. I'd probably tag along as a not-ready-for-prime-time player, but I'd rather be one of the actors instead of the director for this one.

Vash Knives
6 September 2006, 02:22 AM
*On Tatooine, Vash walks into a cavournous hanger and is greeted by a soldier wearing a never before seen uniform.*
Soldier: Greetings sir.*salutes*
Vash: Thank you soldier*returns the salute then falls to one knee in pain*
Soldier: What is it sir?
Vash: Something terrible has happenned. It is as though millions of voices cried out in pain and then cried out again.
Soldier: Sounds pretty trippy sir.