View Full Version : Feedback

23 August 2006, 08:49 PM
Any feedback in any form on any of my stoires would be very helpful.

26 August 2006, 05:55 PM
I found "The Great Conspiracy (Jedi Style)" highly intriguing

31 August 2006, 06:45 PM
I've been reading The Countess of the Federation and as you asked for comments here are some:

The story itself is quite interesting though for me it's more of ST then SW story so far. I don't know why but it has this feeling for me.

Now some other things. Pls double check your spelling. The errors are not nice in posts and in stories all the more. (you know those little "wan" for "want" or "by" for "but".
Why is everyone calling her Sir? Wouldn't madam suffice or is it a cultural thing?

But the thing that bothers me most is the rythm or lack thereof. It's a bit like reading a set of sentences that connect on the logical level but not on the lingual.
Try to use short chopped sentences only there where the action requires it - I mean when something quick is happening. Otherwise try a bit longer sentences without so many repeating structures. The repeatability makes it a bit tiresome to read.

But practise makes the master so keep up the work and I bet you'll get much better.