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Thread: Star Wars: A New Hope. (RPGed)

  1. #1

    Default Star Wars: A New Hope. (RPGed)


    And the entrance of the players for this stunning new RPG that George has decided to try is punctuated by complaints about the lack of pizza. Before getting into that however, let's meet the players.

    Gamemaster: George Lucas is a very creative guy, but falls short on figuring out the details such as soda and asking his parents permission.

    Luke Skywalker: Mark Hamil is new to RPG's, and the others have to "give him a chance"

    Threepio: Tony Daniels has rpged a lot, and his last character was such a gunbunny that he's decided to play something decidedly different this time around.

    Chewbacca: Peter Mayhew is so used to GMing that this time he just wants the ability to tear things in half. Last game Peter got so frustrated that he was unable to form coherant sentences. He's been convinced to use this ability in game.

    Princess Leia: Carrie Fisher is the only girl in the group. She's gamed once or twice before, enough to realize that it can be fun. Being the only girl can have its advantages *eyeflutter at the george*

    Han Solo: Harrison Ford is the most seasoned gamer in the group. He's played multiple games with George before, and his last character was an archeologist/explorer. This time around he's taking advantage of the space setting, since he's always wanted to play a pilot.

    That's the lot of them, let's see where their adventures go. (as if we didn't already know...)


    Carrie: Okay, so what's going on again?

    Harrison: We haven't started yet Carrie, remember. We're playing the space game this time.

    Carrie: Oh yeah, so who's the new guy?

    Mark: I'm Mark, sorry... it's my first time. What are we doing.

    Peter: Well, at the moment we're waiting for George to finish arguing with his parents. The dumbass didn't ask permission first.

    Mark: Are they mad at him?

    Tony: *looks up from playstation* Nah, they ain't mad. They'll "discuss the issue" for awhile, then tell him to stop ignoring his friends. If we're lucky Mrs. Lucas will order a pizza.

    Peter: I hope so, I'm starving.

    Carrie: Of course you are, you ate like... a whole two hours ago.

    Peter: Are you trying to imply somethign?

    Carrie: *smiles sweetly* Not a thing dear.

    Mark: So, my character sheet looks okay then? *holds it up*

    Tony: Don't show it to us dude, we don't know what you're capable of.

    Peter: *glancing at the sheet* Not much from the look of it.

    Mark: Well, George helped me, he told me what to put and said that it'd make sense later.

    Harrison: Oh yeah, it'll make sense later.

    Tony: How do you know?

    Harrison: Cuz I helped him make it up of course.

    Carrie: Figures, you always have inside knowledge.

    Harrison: *smiles and is hit by a pillow*

    George: Okay guys, it's okay. My parents are going out. We've gotta listen for the door though. My mom ordered a pizza.

    Peter: YES! *pumps his fist* I love your mom dude.

    George: Yeah sure, whatever. *plops down into a beanbag chair* Can we start?

    Tony: Yes please, this damned thing keeps killing me. *shuts off playstation*

    Carrie: Sure, but you better sit next to Mark. He uhhh.. *looks at the poor guy* might need help. I don't think he even understands what I mean when I say roll THAC0.

    Mark: Huh?

    George: Right, Mark... *pats banana chair next to him* sit over here.

    Mark: *moves over to the banana chair*

    George: Alright, since the last game ended, you all agreed to play a new game, one set in space.

    Peter: Yeah, and this time "someone" won't set off the bomb before "someone else" manages to get out of the building?

    Tony: I don't have any idea what you're talking about.

    Peter: Why'd you respond then?

    Mark: Ummm...

    Carrie: Ignore them, they'll get over it once we start.

    George: Yeah, anyway... This game takes place a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away.

    Mark: Wait, if it's a long time ago, how can it be in space.

    Tony: *rolls his eyes*

    Carrie: *as gently as she can manage* Because it's in a galaxy far away. Where they got into space even longer before that.

    Mark: Oh yeah, sorry.

    Harrison: It's far FAR away, remember?

    Carrie: Whatever.

    George: *frustration evident* ANYWAY... you all know that the galaxy is run by a great evil Empire. They rule the galaxy with an iron fist.

    Harrison: There's a rebel movement isn't there?

    George: Yes Harrison, there is. I was just getting to that.

    Tony: Wait, I'm there aren't I?

    George: *confused* Where? We haven't started yet.

    Tony: In the rebellion.

    George: Oh that, yeah I suppose we could start there.

    More to come, tell me what you think of the prologue please.
    Last edited by Marusame; 23 July 2003 at 09:53 AM.
    The Internet has ruined credibility. How much impact do you think the Declaration of Independence would have had if it had been filled with signatures like Deathscream or Hoppybunny27?

  2. #2
    Nerf Warrior Extraordinaire
    Join Date
    August 2001
    Washington, DC

    Thumbs up

    Excellent work! Though going through all of A New Hope will probably take a while, I'd love to see the whole thing. Heck, I'd be happy with any more of it.

  3. #3
    Registered User Korpil's Avatar
    Join Date
    June 2001
    Veracruz, Mexico


    That's great Marusame!!!

    You know, there was also another document from the old times much like this, it was the roleplaying session for ANH and ESB. The person who did it never got as far as ROTJ... does anyone have it?

    I'll try to locate it again, but it's on one of my countless backup CDs
    Mario A. Escamilla (aka Kerk Korpil, Verpine Starship Mechanic)

  4. #4


    Tony: Great, so where am I?

    George: You're on a rebel ship. It's a corvette...

    Tony: Awesome.

    George: Not that kind of corvette.

    Carrie: Idiot.

    Peter: Like you know.

    Carrie: Yeah, but we're in space... duh.

    Tony: I know that, I was just saying...

    George: So, you're in this corvette. It's already gotten the beat out of it by this Gigantic Star Destroyer behind it.

    Tony: Star Destroyer?

    Harrison: A type of ship.

    Mark: Cool name.

    Carrie: *rolls eyes* Yeah, really original.

    Peter: Why don't they fight back?

    George: Cuz the Star Destroyer is like over 100 times their size. They're running away because they have a very important passenger...

    Tony: *beams* Cool, I always...

    George: Carrie.

    Tony: Oh.

    Carrie: Heh, cool.

    George: *to carrie* You have something really important. *gives her a note*

    Carrie: *reads* oh man... so now we're in trouble right?

    George: Oh yeah.

    Tony: It's cool, I'll protect you.

    George: No you won't, you're a protocol droid without any capacity for violence, remember?

    Tony: Oh yeah... *thinks hard* too late to change I suppose?

    Harrison: C'mon dude, play something new.

    George: Harrison's right, and besides... Yes it is too late to change.

    Tony: Damn.
    The Internet has ruined credibility. How much impact do you think the Declaration of Independence would have had if it had been filled with signatures like Deathscream or Hoppybunny27?

  5. #5


    George: So anyway, again. *glares* the corvette is falling apart around you Tony. You... what was your droids name again?

    Tony: *makes buzzing sound* I am designated C3P Zero. *makes popping sound*

    George: No no, you sound human.

    Tony: But I like wierd voices. Can I at least give him an accent?

    Harrison: Oh boy, another Canadian accent. "May I serve you masters there Eh?"

    Tony: Shut up, not canadian. And I don't sound like that.

    Rest (except Mark): Yes you do.

    Tony: *chucks a pillow randomly, it happens to bounce off of Marks head*

    Mark: Ouch, could I uhhh... get something to drink?

    Carrie: Sure Mark, *reaches behind her and pulls out a carton of soda* Here, have a pepsi. *hands one across the space between them*

    George: Yes Tony, you can have the accent. At the moment your moving along the corridor with your counterpart.

    Tony: Oooooooh. *grins lewdly*

    Peter: You are such a...

    Carrie: moron.

    Tony: I am not. *takes a long gulp from his soda and finishes off with a long burp* Pass the pizza.

    Harrison: It hasn't gotten here yet doofus. *ducks another pillow attack, then reaches behind to where it fell and holds it threateningly*

    Mark: Should someone go up and wait for the pizza, I'll do it if you want.

    George: No, you need to be here so you know what's going on. Don't worry, we'll hear it.

    Carrie: Yeah, if nothing else Peter'll smell it coming as soon as it turns onto the street.

    Peter: No way.

    Tony: Yeah, what makes you think it'll take that long?

    Peter: Go back to dying please.

    George: No ones dying. Your counterpart is ummm... R2D2. It looks like a squat little trashcan. He only communicates with beeps and whistles.

    Tony: You said the droids spoke english.

    George: No, I said YOU spoke english. Your a translator for one of your professions. You speak a crapload of languages.

    Tony: Six Million.

    Harrison: *scoffs* There aren't six million languages.

    Tony: There are in a galaxy far far away.

    Harrison: *looks doubtful*

    Tony: And I won't call them languages, I'll call them ummm... forms of communication.

    Harrison: Wanna see my form of communication?

    George: That's enough, *stands up and paces* Now, the ship is shaking with the force of the laser blasts hitting it.
    The Internet has ruined credibility. How much impact do you think the Declaration of Independence would have had if it had been filled with signatures like Deathscream or Hoppybunny27?

  6. #6
    Creator of Medieval Open RPG
    Join Date
    July 2003


    LoL, these are freaking hilarious. Keep it up =p.

    I love Mark Hamill's player, LOL. Reminds me of the typical 'new guy' player.

    Please finish all of A New Hope =p.

    (ESB and RotJ might not be as funny, since Luke's actually mature).
    Despite their name, Food Stamps are NOT edible.
    -Ask me about my P&P RPG!!- E-mail me.

  7. #7


    Tony: So what CAN I do?

    Carrie: Run away?

    Peter: Didn't you hear? They already tried that.

    Mark: Run faster?

    All: *look at Mark amazed*

    Mark: *blushes* I mean...

    Harrison: No, I think he's on to something. Run faster. Tony, find the bridge.

    Tony: Awesome

    Carrie: I highly doubt a robot can do it any better.

    Tony: Droid, droid... Droid.

    George: Uh huh, but you still can't pilot.

    Tony: Crap.

    Mark: Sorry.

    Tony: No wait... you are on to something. I wanna find an escape pod.

    George: You can't get on one... *thinks* they're for biologicals only.

    Tony: I'll wear a wig.

    Peter: I'd pay to see that.

    George: You're not there.

    Peter: Too bad, I've got hair to spare.

    Carrie: What are you, a space rock star?

    Peter: Uh uh.

    George: We'll get to that sooner if we could keep on track guys.

    Tony: No wig then?

    George: No wig.

    Peter: Hey, I think the... *doorbell rings* Pizza's here.

    All: (except Mark) *look pointedly*

    Peter: I heard the footsteps coming up the walk.

    Carrie: Right, so... gonna get that George?

    George: Oh fine, *hops up and goes up the stairs, not very quietly*

    Tony: *grumbling* can't pilot my foot.

    Peter: (quickly) We know, ever since you tripped over Harrison's shoe the other day.

    Tony: Oh.. shut up.

    Harrison: C'mon guys, I wanna get to play sometime tonight.

    Tony: Oh fine, I'll figure out what to do.

    Carrie: Ask that counterpart of yours.

    Tony: The what?

    Harrison: *looking at George's notes* The trashcan thing.

    Mark: (quietly) R2D2.

    Tony: Oh yeah, that. Sure, why not.

    George: Okay, here's the pizza. *sets it on the floor, all immediatly go after it* You guys weren't cheating or offering help were you?

    Harrison: *from around mouthful of pizza* Of course not.

    Tony: Oh very well, I'll ask that trashcan of mine if it knows what to do.

    George: In character Tony.

    Tony: Oy, trashcan... got any ideas?

    Harrison: Be serious *throws the pillow he was holding* you're in trouble remember?

    Carrie: Yeah, and you can't fight back.

    Tony: You're right... *looks seriously troubled* We're doomed, absolutely doomed...*
    The Internet has ruined credibility. How much impact do you think the Declaration of Independence would have had if it had been filled with signatures like Deathscream or Hoppybunny27?

  8. #8


    George: Right, so you tell R2 that your doomed.

    Peter: R2, cool... a short version. I can remember that.

    Mark: I don't think it's that hard to remember.

    Tony: ANYWAY We're doomed, they'll send us to uhhh... prison.

    Carrie: Prison? For a droid?

    Mark: Droids can work can't they?

    George: Of course.

    Tony: Oh fine, my luck they'll send us into some cave. A mine even. Ummm...

    Peter: mmmmmm *licks his lips and eats the pepper in the pizza box*

    Carrie: How can you eat those things, they're so spicy.

    Peter: They've got no spice to them. See, no spice *eats the other*

    Carrie: All they are is spice.

    Tony: Spice, they'll have us mining spice on Kessel.

    George: Wasn't that the name of your hometown in the D&D game?

    Mark: D&D?

    Carrie: Never mind, it fits anyway.

    Harrison: Mining Spice on Kessel?

    Tony: Still say it'd be a prison.

    George: Fine, it's a spice mine on kessel for prisoners, happy?

    Tony: Yeah, now what do I do?

    Harrison: You just asked the trashcan remember?

    All: R2D2!

    Harrison: Whatever.

    George: So you tell R2 that you believe that you're doomed and that you'll be headed for kessel?

    Tony: Yeah, and that this important person...

    George: Princess.

    Harrison: Wasn't she a princess last time?

    Peter: I hate not having breasts.

    All: What?

    Peter: It makes bribing the GM that much more difficult.

    Carrie: *throws a couch cushion at peter* Shut up, and I was not a princess last time. I was just a servant.

    Harrison: Oh yeah, you just acted that way.

    George: Anyway, she's a princess.

    Tony: Yeah, I tell the little munchkin droid that the princess's luck has run out.
    The Internet has ruined credibility. How much impact do you think the Declaration of Independence would have had if it had been filled with signatures like Deathscream or Hoppybunny27?

  9. #9


    These are great! Keep up the good work!

  10. #10
    Registered User Terras Jadeonar & Raven's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    *falls of chair* ROFL!!!!!

    Keep it up Marsamune!!! freakin hilarious! and freakin ingenius! We'll be waitin here for the next installment!
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  11. #11
    Jedi Master of the Old Republic
    Join Date
    July 2002
    Now we're on Yavin after our secret base was compromised...It's hard to fight continuity!!!


    Of all the non-licensed, fan-based material I've ever seen, including some durn good fan films, I can honestly say he should be getting paid for this. Somehow. This is hysterical. I've...gamed, with Harrison Ford et al and didn't even know it...
    Jim Williams

  12. #12
    Moderator: Rumours and Speculation
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Wellington, New Zealand


    Ditto. This is very cool, keep it up Murasame. It reminds me a little of "Knights of the Dinner Table" (KotDT) for those who have read it (KotTD is a D&D piss take).

    "What the hell are you waiting for?"
    Encore - Jay Z feat. Linkin Park

  13. #13
    Rebel Insurgent
    Join Date
    January 2002
    Echo Base, Sixth Planet, Hoth System


    I have to point out I think you missed the part where R2 and 3P0 cross the corridor without getting shot at all and George has to go into a big explanation of how the VP system and heroic characters work.

    Actually, which one's the rules lawyer in the group?
    "You're good, but you're no Wes Janson." - Wes Janson

    "You are never certain that a person will notice something but there is a good chance the person is going to have to kill it sooner or later. Therefore my padawan, never get any awareness or stealth skills, just be really good at killing." - Jedi Master Yatzi Googol Safefefe

  14. #14
    Join Date
    June 2002
    Where I hang my boots


    Pffft. Tony. He so has powergamer written all over him.
    I awoke
    Only to find my lungs empty
    And through the night
    So it seems I'm not breathing
    And now my dreams are nothing like they were meant to be - Dallas Green (City and Colour), Sleeping Sickness

  15. #15


    #%@$@#$#@ I just wrote for 30 minutes and the damned thing logged me out and #$#@$#@ it up. Anyhow I'll do it again in a minute. Does anyone know which system I should make them play?
    The Internet has ruined credibility. How much impact do you think the Declaration of Independence would have had if it had been filled with signatures like Deathscream or Hoppybunny27?

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