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Thread: Star Wars: A New Hope. (RPGed)

  1. #136
    Mystic Agent
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    Great. Keep up.

    Can't wait for more...

  2. #137
    I for Underachiever
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    Awesome stuff man!!! I have managed to wile away almost a whole day at work reading this thread..

  3. #138
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    Woot, woot, it is still around. Hadn't checked out the site in a while but it is good to see some familiar stuff. Keep it up.
    "Life is a sexually transmitted disease."
    Anonymous
    "The only thing better then maximum power is super-maximum power."---Krang

  4. #139
    D6 Gamemaster
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    YIPPIE!

    You can't stop the signal.

    Originally posted by Sarge
    Personally, I always bent over backwards to keep to the movie canon, but it was open season on everything else. Ignore it, move it, change it, swear to die before you'll ever acknowledge it, whatever makes a better game.

  5. #140

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    [oliver twist] please sir can I have s' more [/oliver twist]

    seriously that is so dang awesome, I just thought you might need a little encouragement
    "One should not try to control the force for it is an ally not a slave, rather one should seek the aid of the force in controlling one's own self." --Elias Windrider quoting his father

  6. #141

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    Thanks for all the fantastic encouragement, guys. I'm sorry for leaving this for so incredibly long, but here's something.

    George: "So aaaaaaaaaaaaaannnyway... where the hell was I?"

    Carrie: "Mark... I mean Luke was just dropped by the floating car."

    Mark: "And someone screamed."

    Tony: "Because they saw your mother."

    George: "Shut up, Tony. The Sandpeople--"

    Peter: "Dude, that's so frikkin racist..."

    George: "Not *those* sand people, the alien sandpeople!"

    Tony: "That's--"

    George, Harrison, and Carrie: "Shut up, Tony!"

    George: "Okay, so the scream scares off the... screw it, the Tusken Raiders."

    Harrison: "Wasn't that your middle school football team you were on when you lived in Tusken?"

    George: "Yeah well... just go with it."

    Tony: "Sure."

    George: "TONY! I don't want.... wait, what?"

    Tony: "I said sure... no problem."

    Carrie: "Just... sure?"

    Harrison: "No... stupid crack?"

    Peter: "Are you feeling okay?"

    Tony: "Yeah, I'm cool. Let's get going, huh?"

    George: "Wow...... well okay then.... The Tusken R--"

    Tony: "Because any enemy based on a team George was on has to have a win loss ratio that'd make the '73 Padre's blush. So I figure our odds are really frikin good right now."

    George: *sighs while everyone else laughs despite themselves* "I should've seen that coming.... but the scream scares away the Raiders and they take off. This figure in a cloak comes down to where Luke was dropped and starts to look him over."

    Peter: "He's not a pervert, is he?"

    Harrison: "Even if he was, why would he be looking at.... Ohhhhhh.... no."

    Mark: "I think I want to wake up now."

    George: "Soon, just a second."

    Tony: "Date rape! Date rape!"

    Carrie: *shoves a pillow over his face and holds him there* "*You* should be so lucky."

    Peter: "This is really bad, doesn't Mark get a saving throw or anything?"

    George: *exasperated* "He's not a pervert! He just starts to examine Luke and then R2 makes a noise from up in his little nook in the canyon."

    Tony: "Wait, let me get this straight, I get knocked into a dozen pieces, farmboy gets knocked out and molested, but the glorified trashcan's just fine?"
    The Internet has ruined credibility. How much impact do you think the Declaration of Independence would have had if it had been filled with signatures like Deathscream or Hoppybunny27?

  7. #142
    I for Underachiever
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    Brilliant stuff man!! Keep it comin'...

  8. #143

  9. #144
    Rules Lawyer
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    I LOVE IT!
    Jan Tolbara
    Webmaster of Star Wars: The Forgotten Tales, Associate webmaster of SWRPGNetwork Conversions
    Author of The Chronicles of Anna Foster. Find out more at The Worlds of Patrick Stutzman.
    "No problem is too large that cannot be solved with the proper application of thermal detonators."
    - Qualtis Majint

  10. #145

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    Carrie: "That 'glorified trashcan' seems to be the only one in your little trio that knows what the heck he's doing. No offense, Mark.

    Mark: "No, you're probably right."

    Tony: "Well no wonder. Mark's busy being pawed by some pervert."

    Mark: "Luke."

    Tony: "What? Oh, right. Luke."

    George: "Luke isn't being molested by the old man!"

    Tony: "Well of course not now, Trashcan saved him."

    George: "Sure, fine. Whatever. Anyway, the old man tells R2 it's safe to come down..."

    Tony: "Don't do it, Trashcan! He just wants your portly cylindrical body."

    George: "You are an extremely disturbed individual. R2 comes down to join him and the old man touc-- puts his hand on Luke's forehead."

    Harrison: "Good save."

    George: "Thanks. Mark, you start to come around."

    Peter: "Does he still have his pants?"

    George: "Yes, he still has his.. shut up. Mark, you wake up."

    Mark: "I look around and..."

    George: "Oh, you recognize the old guy."

    Tony: "Oh, so this is a regular thing."

    George: *ignores Tony* "He's Ben Kenobi."

    Tony: "Oh thank god! Maybe Trashcan'll shut up and we can get back to the important things in this game."

    Harrison: "What important things?"

    Tony: "Getting me off this damn planet."

    Peter: "If you guys would ever get to me and Harrison, maybe we could do that."

    Tony: "Snap it up, people. I've got people to kill and things to see."

    Carrie: "Don't you mean people to see and things to kill?"

    Tony: "Whichever. I thought you'd be happy I didn't say kill for both."

    Carrie: "Yeah but you didn't say you'd talk to them either. And you didn't say you wouldn't kill them after seeing them."

    Tony: "Caught that, did ya?"

    Harrison: "George could have caught that one when they made him play halfback."

    George: "Can we get off my sporting ability?"

    Tony: "Sure, as soon as I get off this planet."

    Peter: "And as soon as Ben gets off of Luke."

    Tony: "That too."

    Mark: "I tell Ben that I'm glad he's here."

    Carrie: "Finally, someone who knows how to show gratitude."

    Tony: "Gratitude, smatitude. That old man's a filthy kill stealer, and he knows it."

    George: *sighs* "He didn't kill any of them, Tony. He just scared them off, remember?"

    Tony: "What the hell? Oh, I bet this is a set-up. The old man has those creeps knock out Skymangler and then he just comes along and has his way with him."

    George: *glares* "Yes, Tony. He's been sitting here on this planet for twenty years just to get into Luke's pants."

    Harrison: "Do you really want to give him ammo like that?"

    George: "Never mind. Ben tells you the jundland wastes--"

    Tony: "I'm not standing in anyone's waste!"

    George: "It's the name of the area you're in, you dork."

    Tony: "Huh, I thought it was just 'that sandy place over there'."

    Carrie: "Tony, the entire planet is a desert. It's all 'that sandy place'."

    Tony: "Makes you wonder why they needed individual names, huh?"

    Mark: "I tell Ben that R2 came out here looking for someone named... what was it?"

    Peter: "Audi-One."

    Tony: "Dude, score. I'm driving."

    George: "OBI-WAN."

    Tony: "Can I drive that one or do I have to ride it?"

    Harrison: "..."

    George: "...."

    Tony: "What?"

    George: "The old man tells you that his name used to be Obi-Wan, but that he hasn't gone by it in a long time."

    Carrie: "...."

    Peter: "..."

    Tony: "I was set up!"
    The Internet has ruined credibility. How much impact do you think the Declaration of Independence would have had if it had been filled with signatures like Deathscream or Hoppybunny27?

  11. #146

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    What can I say but just Awesome. I just found this thread and wow. Keep it coming and welcome back.
    Wisper
    "All hail Darth Stidreck"
    Draconian Sector - My little Infinity of the Star Wars Universe
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  12. #147
    Registered User Korpil's Avatar
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    Hilarious!!!!

    And it's better than ever! Thanks Marusame!
    Mario A. Escamilla (aka Kerk Korpil, Verpine Starship Mechanic)
    http://sequart.org/books/47
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  13. #148

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    Thanks, Korpil and Wisper. I like coming back to this, and I just hope no one's upset about the complete lack of any sort of respect for Obi-Wan from the players here.


    George: "How were you set up? You were the one propagating the 'Luke's being fondled' crap."

    Tony: "Hey, you were the guy that had the old man molest Farmer Duke."

    Mark: "Luke."

    Tony: "Whatever. Anyway, please tell me they put me back together."

    George: "Soon, humpty. First... Mark, Ben just told you that he's the man that Carrie... err.. Leia was talking about."

    Mark: "So R2 belongs to him?"

    George: "He says he's never owned a droid before."

    Harrison: "Obi's a filthy liar, I see."

    George: "Fine, he says he doesn't RECALL ever owning a droid before."

    Harrison: "So he's just got alzheimer's. That makes sense."

    George: "Shut up, Harrison. You're not even here and you're not supposed to know any of that anyway."

    Carrie: "What are you two talking about?"

    George: "Nothing, Harrison's just--"

    Harrison: "I'm just wondering what the point of Obi-Wan lying right now is."

    George: "Because I... because he... because... he....he... he just is."

    Tony: "Now he's a *lying* pervert. So far this bad guy's off to a great start."

    George: "He's not the bad guy!"

    Tony: "Oh. Then you just suck."

    George: *puts his head down and mumbles something before sitting up* "Okay, fine. Obi-Wan-"

    Peter: "AKA Lying Filthy Pervert."

    George: "OBI-WAN.... says the sandpeople will be back--"

    Tony: "Oooh, now he's a racist lying filthy pervert."

    George: "He's a hero! He's the last surviving member of an almost extinct order of knights."

    Peter: "What, the Pedophiliac Legion?"

    George: *tries to ignore that* "He takes you back to his hut... with artoo, and they bring C3P0 too."

    Tony: "Oh great, so I'm just left out there to DIE?"

    Harrison: "One.. you're a droid... you can't die... and two... YOU'RE C3P0."

    Tony: "Oh yeah... I still say I should have been called MDK-99."

    George: "No."

    Carrie: "What the heck does that stand for?"

    Tony: "Mega-Destroyer-Killer-Ninety-Nine."

    Carrie: "Riiiight... dare I ask what the ninety nine is for?"

    Tony: "It's the number of intelligent races he's wiped off the face of the galaxy. The entire campaign could have been about his quest to get into the triple digits. Isn't that awesome!?"
    The Internet has ruined credibility. How much impact do you think the Declaration of Independence would have had if it had been filled with signatures like Deathscream or Hoppybunny27?

  14. #149
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    Originally posted by Rogue Janson
    I'd say the OT was done in D6, but the special edition might be D20.
    No, the special edition was also D6 when in theatres. The DVD version was what came closest to D20.

    I vote having them play D6, until you get to the Prequels - at that point you should have them switch to D20.

    And yes, I do want you to keep going, when you can fit it in - this stuff's hilarious.
    Last edited by Jame; 20 September 2007 at 05:48 AM.
    Wookiee is spelled like cookie except it has a "w" and an extra "e."

  15. #150

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    Whooo!

    George: "Tony's disturbingly genocidal tendencies aside... very... very aside, Obi-Wan takes you guys back to his hut, like I said."

    Tony: "I'm planting sentry guns at four strategic locations, all coordinated to lead any rat bastard sand guy right into the bottleneck of a mine field."

    George: "Tony, the only thing you're planting is your butt in the corner while Luke fixes you."

    Tony: "Bwa?"

    Carrie: "You fell apart... remember?"

    Tony: "How can I be expected to keep track of every little thing that ever happens?"

    Carrie: "It was all of five minutes ago!"

    Tony: "So you see my point."

    Harrison: "Forget it, Carrie. He has the attention span of a strobe light."

    George: "Obi-Wan's hut is just this small hovel with a bunch of random junk lying around. While you repair Captain Maladjusted over there, he starts talking to you about how your father fought in the clone wars."

    Peter: "I didn't know this took place in the Marvel universe."

    Harrison: "He's not talking about Spider-Man, Peter. Put the knife down."

    Peter: "Huh? Oh, sorry... I guess the memory is still an open wound."

    Carrie: "What are you guys talking about?"

    Harrison: "A story more convoluted and contradictory than even Tony could think up."

    Tony: "Hey! I resent that. I could totally be more convoluted than that."

    Harrison: "Let's just say it uses cloning to explain... pretty much half of human existance."

    Carrie: "Yeah? What's the other half?"

    Harrison: "I'm not sure, but if Spider-Man's life has anything to do with it, I imagine it involves a lot of hard liquor."

    Peter: "Alcohol and cloning... Nah, that sounds more like DC's Identity Crisis."

    Mark: "You mean that miniseries from a few years ago?"

    Peter: "No, I mean the identity crisis they've had since they started letting a rambling drunken hobo televangelist hippie communist start planning their storylines."

    Harrison: "That sounds like my old gym teacher."

    Carrie: "That sounds like my therapist."

    George: "Speaking of convoluted ideas, may we please get back to this? Thank you. Mark, he's telling you about your father in the clone wars. Only, you were always told that your dad was a navigator on a spice freighter."

    Mark: Oh, well... I umm... I correct him."

    George: "He explains that that was just what your uncle told you. Apparantly he didn't hold with your fathers ideals, and thought that he should stay here."

    Tony: "Figures the guy farming for water would be liberal."

    George: "Shut up, Tony. Mark, he tells you that your father was a Jedi Knight who fought in the clone wars, and that he was the best starfighter pilot in the galaxy, and that he was a very good friend of his."

    Tony: "Which explains why he's sitting in a hut a gazillion miles from anything even remotely interesting instead of hunting down the guy's murderer and exacting brutalicious revenge."

    Carrie: "Did you just say brutalicious?"

    Tony: "Yeah, you know.... violence, explosions, and casual disdain for collateral damage. It's magically delicious."

    George: "Don't make me get the frikkin hose again. Obi-Wan tells Luke that he has something of his father's."

    Tony: "Can I be fixed yet? This 'having no ability whatsoever to propel the scene the way I want it to go' is getting really old."

    George: *mutters* "Now you know how I feel.....' *sighs* "Yeah, Mark, you finish fixing C3P0 and have to decide if you're going to put the restraining bolt on, or leave it off."

    Mark: "Restraining Bolt?"

    Harrison: "The thing that lets you use the remote to stop the droid whenever you want to."

    Tony: "Take it off! Take it off, Mark!"

    Everyone stares.

    Tony: ".... god damnit."
    The Internet has ruined credibility. How much impact do you think the Declaration of Independence would have had if it had been filled with signatures like Deathscream or Hoppybunny27?

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